The Bossy Bar-Wife

2007-10-12T10:18:00.000-05:00

When I was in grad school, a few friends and I discovered something very very good was going on at a local dive bar every Wednesday night.

What was this thing, you ask? Just a little gift from God called... karaoke.

OK. This was more than just something we did every once in a while. This was an all-out addiction, starting at 9 pm and ending anywhere between 2 and 4 am. We also had jobs, and early morning classes, but were a lot younger then, and it was just impossible to leave karaoke. It grew and grew, and we made lots of friends.

Karaoke is even part of the reason Mr. Bossy and I are together, as he was a regular patron of this bar as well. One night he was asked to be a judge of the monthly contest they had there. This particular night was an '80s contest. Some of the people came decked out in full costume, knowing what they were going to sing, and did a great job. I wasn't planning to enter, as country karaoke is my genre of choice, but I decided to just sing for the fun of it. I wasn't wearing a costume, wasn't really giving it my all... but somehow I won.

Turns out Mr. Bossy (who was also Mr. Inebriated) liked me, and wanted me to win. I didn't know him at the time, really, and we didn't start dating until several months later, but that's where it began.

You might also be interested to know that the karaoke DJ wouldn't let me win because the judges were too drunk to make a fair decision. Ah, romance.

Anyway, for a variety of reasons we stopped going there (after 2 years) and they no longer do karaoke. I haven't done karaoke in over 5 years, and I miss it. A lot. Every time I hear the song that was my "signature" song, I get all excited and nostalgic at the same time.

BUT.

A couple of weeks ago, my dear friend and partner in karaoke crime sent me a text message that said another local pub was starting up karaoke, and on FRIDAY NIGHTS.

Nothing could have given me greater pleasure, and Friday is the perfect night for me. It starts tonight, and you can bet your ass we'll be there with bells on. I am so excited, it's all I can think about. I'll be sure to let you know how it goes.

Sweet Relief

2007-10-04T09:14:00.000-05:00

Well, I appreciate your support of my previous post and your well wishes for last weekend's block party. I won't keep you in suspense any longer...

Last Saturday was my favorite neighborhood day of the two years we've lived there! I feel redeemed.

First of all, we had a yard sale Saturday morning. This was one of those neighborhood deals, so there were about 15 houses participating. We didn't think we had much, but we had a couple of things I wanted to get rid of, so we decided to give it a try.

(My use of the word "we" may be slightly misleading. Mr. Bossy was in no way involved in the yard sale preparation or the sale itself. He did help me carry some of the stuff outside before he left for work. That's it).

ANYWAY, so I'm sitting outside all Saturday morning, and some of our neighbors were out too, so that was a good start. We talked some, and I was feeling more confident when I heard they were going to the party that night. So, we made a little bit of money and got rid of the main things I wanted to get rid of. Success!

Later that afternoon, we walked down the street to the place of the party. Before the party we were supposed to have a Neighborhood Watch meeting to discuss the PEEPING TOM problem in our neighborhood. After that, we went right into block party mode.

Fortunately for me, the main neighbors that we know were all there, and we all sort of hung out together. Everyone was saying how much better this party was than last year's, and I couldn't have agreed more. We ended up staying for quite a while, and then went to another party in our neighborhood (we didn't even know this person, but she put flyers on our mailboxes, so we all went as a group).

All in all, I was so happy to have put that previous party behind me. I haven't seen any of my neighbors since then, but I have visions that we'll all be best friends forever after last weekend. I'll be sure to let you know.

PS-- The title of my previous post, followed by the title of this one sounds like some sort of digestive issue. I apologize and assure you that was not my intent.

Blocked!

2007-09-26T13:07:00.000-05:00

About a year and a half ago, I got invited to a neighborhood block party. (I probably shouldn't say it that way-- our whole neighborhood was invited, I didn't "get" invited).

Anyhow, we got this thing in the mailbox saying we were having a block party and that a local place would provide hot dogs, hamburgers, etc. but that we should bring desserts. For some reason, I got overly excited about this party. I went directly to my computer to RSVP that I would indeed be there-- even though Mr. Bossy was going to be out of town with the guys-- and that I'd gladly bring a dessert to share. I was even going to a baby shower that afternoon, but figured I could do both.

So, the morning of the party I was busily making these delicious cookies that are sort of my signature, and packing them in a cute basket for the occasion, etc. etc.

I looked down to the end of my street where the party was supposed to be getting started, and I didn't see much going on. So I went back inside and waited. You know how it feels when you have nothing to do, you're simply just waiting to leave or something? It was like that. I was just sitting and waiting, checking my watch.

So, about 15 minutes later I decided I had to go, if I was going to have enough time to enjoy this party and make it to the baby shower. So, I picked up my cookies and marched myself down the street.

Now, I know some of my neighbors. Not many. Naturally, the ones I knew at the time weren't at the party. So, I was feeling slightly less confident as I got to the end of the street and walked up to the guests.

I didn't know where to put my cookies, so I just put them on an empty table and then someone called out to me that I needed a nametag. I put on my nametag and looked around expectantly for all my new friends to begin greeting me.

Nothing.

Nothing.

So, I wandered over to the grill and asked for a hot dog. The man working the grill greeted me by name (due to the nametag), which gave me a ray of hope, but then I realized that he wasn't one of my neighbors, he was from the local restaurant.

So, I got some tea and realized that I didn't have anywhere to sit, so I sort of floated over to a group of people about my age talking. One of them introduced himself to me, but the rest of them just kept talking as though they'd never noticed me. (which they probably didn't).

Anyway, after a few awkward minutes, wherein I realized that without a baby or a dog OR a husband there with me (at the very least), I had nothing to make this any easier. So, I said-- to NO ONE--- "Well, I've got to get to a baby shower".

No one said anything, so I looked around for my cookies. I found them, sitting in all their homemade glory, surrounded by Oreos and Nutter Butters still in their plastic bags. Not impressed.

So, I made my way home, about 20 minutes after I got there. I was devastated. Why didn't anyone want to be friends with me? Why didn't I think to borrow a baby or a dog so I would have something to keep myself company?

So. I tell you all this to say that this Saturday night, there is another block party. Mr. Bossy and I are going to go... but I have a lot of apprehension about this event. I'll be sure to let you know how it all turns out. At least I know he'll talk to me.

I hope.

Dear Whoopi Goldberg,

2007-09-04T21:15:00.000-05:00

Congrats on your first day on the View.

For your information:

I am from the south... more "deep" than Michael Vick is. Deeper than Virginia. I know NO ONE who is or ever has been involved in dog-fighting, etc. No matter the geography of the perpetrator, this is a disgusting crime.

As a life-long southerner, I heartily resent your remarks on this subject.

Thank you.

BB

WTF?

2007-08-31T11:36:00.000-05:00

Wednesday night I had the unfortunate experience of being alone in an elevator with this woman who sort of drives me nuts. I think you all know the type-- the kind who you want to like, because you know she doesn't have a lot of friends and you want to be kind to her, but she says and does the most irritating things that make you understand why she doesn't have that many friends. Make sense?

OK, so I really do try to be nice to this woman, and I'm certainly never mean to her or anything like that, but I try to avoid prolonged conversations. However, there we were, riding the elevator together.

Here's how our conversation went:

Her: How's everything with you?

Me: Fine, can't complain. You?

Her: Fine. So... when you gonna make a baby?

Me: "..."

Her: I'm just going to go ahead and get personal.

Me: (pulling out my standard answer when people ask this question) "Well, not today!"

Her: Well, I think the teens you work with would really have fun with that. Plus, it would be a great lesson for them about the consequences of your actions.

OK--- as a young woman who is married and has been for a few years, I am used to people asking me about my child-bearing plans, although normally they are people I am a little closer to. What really irritated me about this was the idea that I would use my as of yet un-conceived child as a lesson about the consequences of sex! Does that strike anyone else as strange?

Television and miscellaneous thoughts

2007-08-23T11:10:00.000-05:00

Here's what I'm watching this summer:

1. The Hills-- I almost wish I weren't part of perpetuating this cycle, but I do love LC and have to watch this show. I have managed to resist "Newport Harbor: the real OC" for the time being, but I suspect that a weekend marathon on MTV might cure me of that.

2. Fashionista Diaries: I am totally loving this show. It comes on Soapnet and I am completely fascinated by it. If any of you are watching it, tell me, because I need to discuss it with someone. Did you like Nicole? I felt sorry for her, but I think she made the right decision. Also-- that Mandie lady from 7th house? Eeek.

3. Big Brother 8-- LOVE. IT. I've even gotten Mr. Bossy into it and now he's saying things like "I can't believe I never watched this show before this year". My work here is done... BB is one of those shows where I basically hate all the contestants (except Jessica) but I still can't get enough.

Anyone have anything else to recommend? This is about the time of year when I start getting really ready for my regular favorites to come back on. My heart still feels heavy since the OC won't be back on, but at least I have a few other things I like to watch.

Let me know if you'd like to discuss any of these shows. I'm all ears.

I'm Still Alive

2007-08-16T07:32:00.000-05:00

Hello all! (If there are any of you still out there, which I hope there are!)

So, apparently, I've been on a bit of a blog-cation. I didn't really plan it this way, it just happened. I hope we can still be friends.

Here's what's been going on with me lately:

1. I have been sweating. A lot. It's hot as hades here and it's miserable.

2. The other night I was speaking to a group of teenagers, and said "Now, you have to be really smart to do this..." , while pointing to my own brain (the universal gesture for "smart"). Unfortunately, I missed my brain and poked myself right in the eye. Needless to say, that ended any semblance of order in the room.

3. I went with Mayor and a Real Mother to the Justin Timberlake concert. Mayor did a good job describing the experience on her blog, and let me say this: he is SO. HOT. I don't often describe people as "sexy", but that's what he was. It was .... wow. Of course, we also realized we aren't as young as we used to be and that young ladies today do not always dress appropriately. Maybe they thought they were going to meet Justin? I don't know. The worst was the mom on the row with us who WOKE UP HER FIVE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER to dance when he sang "What goes around". Unfortunately, this small child was dancing in the same manner as JT's dancers. Which is to say, like strippers. OK, I'm old. Sorry.

4. Last but not least, Luke Perry was spotted in my town. Now, this is a bit of a sensitive subject for me. I LOVE LP. I love him so much. Dylan McKay has been the love of my life since I was in high school, and I believe that I will always carry a torch for him.

One morning I get to work and have an email from a friend saying that he saw Luke Perry at a local bar the night before. Just sends me this email, all non-chalant, instead of doing what a real friend would do and CALL ME AT THE TIME so I could throw on my "Donna Martin graduates" T-shirt and haul ass up there.

As the week goes on, I hear story after story of him being spotted around town, doing this and that. It seemed like everywhere I turned, people were saying "oh yeah, I saw him here" or whatever.

I never saw him. But I think it might be for the best, because I am afraid one of two things would have happened. One, I would have been so star-struck and in awe of him I would have just sat and stared and cursed myself for not approaching him.

Or, two, I would have had a couple of drinks, and marched over to him and said, "OK. Once and for all. Brenda or Kelly?"

Romance

2007-07-31T07:20:00.000-05:00

Scene: Boston hotel room. Early Saturday morning.

Our hotel was lovely and we had a great time in Boston. However, the bed was tiny-- less than a double but more than a twin, and the Bossies are a a slightly larger people. We normally sleep in a king-sized bed and take up as much space as humanly possible.

Me: Morning. (a greeting not really necessary since we were practically glued together due to the space issue).

Mr. Bossy: Hi. How'd you sleep?

Me: Grrrrrr. This bed is so f-ing petite!

A few moments go by in silence.

Mr. Bossy: (in a very friendly, helpful voice) Maybe tonight you could sleep on the floor.

I think it's safe to say the honeymoon's over.

God Bless the Child

2007-07-25T13:28:00.000-05:00

So, last night, I told Mr. Bossy that I was having lunch today with a friend of mine I haven't seen in a while. She has two boys, and is divorced from their father but recently remarried.

Here's how it went:

Me: I'm going to lunch with E tomorrow.

Him: Doesn't she have to work?

Me: No, she doesn't work right now.

Him: But she has kids, right? Don't kids need milk and sweaters and stuff?

Me: Yes, yes they do. But, tell me... what the hell are you talking about?

Finally he realized that he didn't know she was not working right now and is also remarried. Additionally, I realized that our future (un-conceived) children are very lucky indeed to have a father who knows so much about their needs. Milk and sweaters... that about covers it, right?

I just love it when this happens

2007-07-18T12:08:00.000-05:00

Today I had a meeting with someone at the Starbucks down the street from my office. As I was walking down the sidewalk, I was feeling pretty confident-- I have on my favorite jeans, cute shoes, nice accessories, etc. I'm prancing down the sidewalk, feeling like a star, when it happened.

I turn my head to the right and see a reflection of someone with a big ass, stomach sticking out, lurching down the sidewalk, whose hair was a mess.

Lesson: Avoid mirrors at all costs.

A Grand Entrance

2007-07-12T08:36:00.000-05:00

In my last post, I told you of a man I work with who I screamed at not to judge me for eating a doughnut.

Well, yesterday, I walked into this same man's office with my morning cup of coffee, and instead of just walking through the door like a normal human, I somehow misjudged the space and ended up banging into his wall as I entered, knocking a picture off the wall with a huge clatter and shrieking my surprise at this event.

His back was turned, so he didn't even know I was coming. I think I shocked him a little with my grand entrance, judging from his response, "WHAT the...?"

He may request that I be removed from the office sometime in the near future. I really need to get a grip on myself. Or at least leave this poor man alone.

What's My Problem?

2007-07-10T16:14:00.000-05:00

This morning, someone brought hot Krispy Kreme doughnuts to our staff meeting. I heard last night before I left work that he was planning to do this, so this morning I was sure to eat at home. Not that I don't love those things, and not that I'm on a diet, but I decided to try and exercise some restraint, for once.

So, I was all prepared for it and didn't even look at those bad boys when I walked into the meeting. Even when everyone else was drooling over their second ones, I remained cool. Someone even said "you don't like doughnuts?" and I said "Yes, I like them. But I ate breakfast at home in anticipation of theme being here".

Needless to say, I practically broke my own arm patting myself on the back.

About 15 minutes ago, I realized that I was starving. (Yes, I ate lunch, but listen. I'm hungry). I went down to our workroom to get myself a diet coke, and saw the box of doughnuts sitting on the counter. I opened it up, and there was one left! It was calling me... "Bossy! Heat me up and eat me right now!"

So I did.

I heated that thing up and was walking it down the hall to my office where I could enjoy it fully. I thought all my co-workers were gone, which pleased me, since I didn't want anyone to see me eating this thing, but as I walked down the hall, one of them came out of his office. Before he could even blink an eye, I screamed "DON'T JUDGE ME I DIDN'T HAVE ONE THIS MORNING!"

He was like "Good Lord, woman. WHAT is your problem? I didn't even notice. Relax."

So, I hauled ass down to my office and ate that thing in about 2.2 seconds. It was freaking delicious and I have no regrets.

Quite Possibly the Best News Ever

2007-07-06T08:58:00.000-05:00

Ok, I'm pretty sure we've talked about Chick-fil-A on this blog before, and my feelings for it. If you don't remember, suffice it to say I like it. A LOT.

So, in the last year or two, an excellent Chick-fil-A opened very near to where I work, which also happens to be near where I live. This is the best Chick-Fil-A ever. On Monday nights you can take your church bulletin and get a free sandwich. They do lots of stuff for the community, etc. etc. And now, they've taken it to the next level.

Next week is Customer Appreciation Week!

Here is a rundown of what I'll be enjoying next week:

Monday: Sampling of Fudge Nut Brownies

Tuesday: Sampling Chicken Minis

Wednesday: Sampling Freshly Squeezed Lemonade

Thursday: Sampling Handspun Milkshakes

Friday: Free Chicken Biscuit and Sampling Cheesecake

Saturday: Sampling Nuggets

Everyday you can get your picture taken with the Chick-Fil-A Cow (!) and there are free giveaways.

I may be unreasonably excited about this, but there you have it. If you're looking for me next week, that's where I'll be.

Looking Ahead

2007-07-05T13:25:00.000-05:00

I hope you all had a wonderful 4th. Mine was very nice, but nothing truly outstanding happened.

So, I've been a little grouchy lately, maybe because I am tired or because our grass really needs cutting, or because Mr. Bossy tipped over our grill two weeks ago and has yet to pick it up. (Don't make me explain to you why I haven't picked it up yet). I'm also really depressed that I'm not going to the beach this summer, a situation for which I have decided to blame my sister and possibly the US Military.

So, I decided that instead of wallowing, I would list some of the things I'm looking forward to, and see if that would cheer me up. So... here are the things I'm excited about for the rest of the summer:

1. Tonight. BIG BROTHER 8 begins! Those of you who watch it, let's discuss. Those of you who don't-- you might consider changing your mind. It's very good. Very good indeed. Plus, I know you have nothing better to watch in the summer.

2. I finally ordered "Bright Lights, Big Ass". I can't wait to read it. I love, love, love Jen Lancaster and can't wait to hear what she has to say this time.

3. Yesterday I was invited to a friend's lake house next weekend. I think I can go, so now I'm getting excited about at least being near some water, even if it isn't the beach. Plus, all the people going are really fun, so that helps.

4. Mr. Bossy and I are headed to Boston at the end of this month. I have never been, so I am extremely excited. If you know of something we have to do/eat/see, let me know. We're actually going to see the Police at Fenway, which is a dream of Mr. Bossy's. Other than that, we're wide open as far as plans, so suggestions are welcome.

5. My next Frappucino. I'm assuming that will be tomorrow, if not today.

That's all I can think of at the moment, but it did cheer me up a little. What are you looking forward to this summer?

Happy 4th!

2007-07-04T10:29:00.000-05:00

Happy Fourth of July to all!

I hope you all have a great day. So far today, I have done the following:

-- Watched two episodes of the OC.

-- Eaten one peanut butter chocolate chip cookie (these are so freaking good-- I got the recipe from Southern Living and always make them for the 4th)

-- Tried to do some online shopping but got frustrated-- I may send out a cry for help to my fashion blogging friends.

-- Checked the status of my laundry with regard to the deck of cards incident detailed in the previous post. We're getting there, although the white sheets have a bluish tint to them now.

Later, I'll head to my parents' house for dinner, fireworks, and time with my new neice. What are your plans?

Not Playing With a Full Deck

2007-07-02T22:06:00.000-05:00

So, I've been out of town for a week, and had today off. I used my time very wisely, watching 90210 re-runs and washing clothes. I was doing so well at washing clothes that I decided to go all the way and wash my mattress pad and my very favorite sheets.

Well, I washed almost everything and had to go somewhere tonight. So, I left the last load (sheets and towels) washing when I left. I got home around 10:45 and went to put them all in the dryer. As I pulled the tangled mess out of the machine, I realized that they were covered in something.

I couldn't quite figure it out, so I continued to pull stuff out of the washing machine and shook some of it off. Well.

I finally figured it out. Somehow, in all my moronic glory, I had managed to wash an entire deck of cards.

That's right. AN ENTIRE DECK. So now, it's 11 pm, all I want to do is go to sleep, and I'm brushing card residue off my favorite sheets and trying to figure out how the hell I'm going to get all this crap off.

I'll let you know how this all turns out. Stay tuned.

Good News

2007-06-22T13:51:00.000-05:00

Good news!

I went by my office and the cord I needed was lying on the floor. Apparently I jumped to conclusions when I thought we had a ghost.

Anyway, I'm leaving town tomorrow for a week, so this will be my last post until July. I just wanted to show you these cute little handtowels a friend at work recently made for me. I hope you like them as much as I do!

This is the cute little stack they came in. I love the pink and green, obviously.

Christmas in Dixie...

This is the one for football season-- Mr. Bossy loves his Bulldogs. Personally, I'm an Auburn fan,
but the red and black is cute, so I'll allow it.

There are a few more-- this was a great gift!

Now, back to slaving over a hot washing machine. Have a great week!

Poltergeists

2007-06-22T09:22:00.000-05:00

My friend at work gave me the cutest towels, which she made. I was so excited about them that I wanted to show them to you! So, yesterday morning I took pictures of them with my camera, found the cord that hooks my camera to the computer, and loaded it all in my tote bag to take to work, so I could update if I had a second.

Well, yesterday was very busy at work, so I didn't have a chance. I didn't even take the stuff out of my bag. When I got home, I decided to try and post the pictures. I pulled out my camera, and there was no cord. I dumped out my whole bag, and nothing. So, I searched my car-- nothing. Who could have moved it?

This morning I am at home, washing clothes and minding my own business. I just went to check on the clothes, and there is an amazon.com box sitting on the top of the washing machine. Did I put it there? No. Apparently the ghost who turns our fan light on in the middle of the night is back in action.

Dear whoever is moving my stuff-:
Can you bring me that cord back? I really want to show these little towels. Also, if you're going to move stuff around, could you do it in a manner that is a little more helpful? Like unloading the dishwasher? Thank you.

Why?

2007-06-20T17:07:00.001-05:00

Here's what I am wondering lately.

-- Why does my husband shed so much?

-- Why does TiVo keep telling me to "make a daily call soon"?

-- Why don't I have any comfortable brown sandals?

-- Why is my trash can missing?

-- Why do I keep watching The Real World/Road Rules Challenge even though I hate those people with all my heart?

-- Why do people think it's OK to do something rude (like cut in front of you in line) if they acknowledge that they are being rude? "Can I be terrible and cut in front of you?"

-- Why can't I be "genetically blessed" and be skinny?

--Why is is that I have 20/20 vision and can't read any signs that are lit up?

What's plaguing you lately?

An Important Message

2007-06-18T20:49:00.000-05:00

Tonight, when I got home from work, I noticed that we had some messages on our answering machine.

I pressed the button, and the first message sounded like this:

"Hello Mr. Bossy, this is yourself. I'm calling to remind you to buy raffle tickets at Party City. You need these for Saturday, so be sure to write it down or you'll forget otherwise. OK, thank you. Bye!"

Now. I am all for leaving myself the reminder message. However, mine to myself are usually like "Bossy. Get tickets", or I might have Mayor call and leave me a message in a scary voice or something. (OK-- that didn't make us look cool. Oops).

But, I have never heard someone leave themselves such a friendly message, and I said as much to Mr. Bossy. As soon as I said "I like how friendly you were to yourself", he instantly replied, "I like me".

Can't argue with that.

A Week With the Mayor

2007-06-15T20:46:00.000-05:00

I mentioned in my last post that June was a really busy month for me. I've just gotten back from a week-long conference that I attend every year as a part of my chosen career. I'm leaving again in a week for another trip that is work-related, so I won't have lots to add until July.

But, I wanted to tell you a few key points of my week. Luckily for me, my best friend has also has to attend this conference. (We don't work in the same place, but do the same thing, sort of). Most adults who attend this conference get their own hotel rooms, but we don't, we like to room together. We used to be roommates and so it's more fun this way.

We had a little trouble with our hotel reservations, and were living in fear that we'd get to our room Sunday night and it would be a smoking room with one double bed. Fortunately, our fears were unfounded, and we each had our own bed, and it was a non-smoking room. We even had to sign something saying we wouldn't smoke.

It's a good thing we didn't have to share a bed, because this "double bed" was more like a large twin. I could barely fit on it.

Anyway, this conference is filled to the brim with meetings, votes, and reports. There are about 3000 people there, many of whom are morons.

However, there may not be any bigger morons than the Mayor and I. Here are a few highlights:

Every single time we sat in our chairs, she dropped something.

She lost her sunglasses at least 65 times. Often she would go back and look for them, when they were actually on her person.

We stayed up way too late watching "The X-Effect" on MTV. I'd never
heard of this show before, but it was riveting.

One time during a meeting I was drinking a Diet Coke, and I just spit it out. It was like I was laughing, but I wasn't. I just spit it right out.

We almost died laughing in Publix when her sunglasses fell off her head and a lens just fell out. We never found the lens.

One of us has a sweating problem and spent the better part of the day with toilet paper in the armpits.

The rest of the time was spent discussing/making fun of everyone else there, repeating our same jokes over and over (and laughing every time), eating, and texting my boss, who wasn't usually with us, since he has a good reputation and we're jackasses.

Anyway, I'm glad to be home, although I was a bi-atch to Mr. Bossy about 5 minutes after I saw him. I was just tired. I'm feeling nicer now, and am catching up on my OC reruns that I missed all week.

I hope you're all having a lovely summer! Keep in touch!

Flies in the Buttermilk

2007-06-05T16:59:00.000-05:00

I am writing today to inform you of a bad situation around my office. June is a pretty busy month for me, so my writing will be sporadic, but I will certainly write when I have time or something extra-special to share.

There is an epidemic. A disgusting kind.

Fruit Flies.

They seem to be taking over my office. Not just my office, but my whole place of work. My office had two flitting around all day, and you should have seen me trying to kill them by clapping them. It didn't work.

I went down the hall to rinse out my cup, and discovered the place where they seem to be really gathering. We have a workroom with a sink, and there are fruit flies all around it. What no one can figure out is-- where are they coming from? How can we get rid of them? There are no obvious answers.

So... my last post was about my annoyance around the office, but at least at that point I wasn't also being swarmed by bugs. I hope they go away soon, or I may have to take an early retirement.

Grrrrrr

2007-05-29T20:27:00.000-05:00

I don't know about you, but I hate going back to work after a nice holiday weekend. The weekend was great; a busy schedule but all things I wanted to do. Plus, I got some quality niece time, so that's always a bonus.

Plus, last week I got to go out of town to visit my sister and brother-in-law, and their three kids, so I've been in full on aunt mode.

So, I was pretty happy... until I got to work. You know how things just sort of bug you and you can't really explain why it pisses you off so much, you just get mad?

Well, this morning, I got to work, turned on my computer, and went down the hall to get some coffee. Now, I buy fat free French Vanilla Coffeemate. As far as I know, I have only one co-worker who also uses it. She will buy a bottle occasionally too, so it's not that big a deal. I take it out of the fridge this morning, give it a nice shake... and there it is, exploding all over my shirt.

So, apparently, my co-worker who also uses the coffeemate didn't close the cap tightly. I realize this is not a federal offense, and nothing to get truly bent out of shape over, but MAN did it make me mad.

I went stomping back to my office, where my computer had completely frozen and wouldn't load. So, while I scrubbed at my shirt, I tried to restart my ridiculously slow computer and get my email from the weekend.

A few minutes later, one of my other co-workers comes down the hall. Now, for some reason, he has this nickname for me. You don't know my name, so let's just pretend it's Melinda. A lot of people call me "MeMe" (not really, but the first syllable of my name repeated). But for whatever reason, he calls me "MelMel" instead. I truly don't mind my actual nickname-- in fact, I really like it. My brother calls me that, as do all my nieces and nephews, plus a bunch of other folks. I like it.

I do not like MEL MEL. But, I haven't been able to just say "DON'T CALL ME THAT", because when he calls me by my actual nickname, he usually sings it, which is equally annoying.

So, I was already in a bad mood because of the creamer and the computer, so him bouncing in and calling me the annoying nickname was just the last straw.

Fortunately, my shirt dried, my computer loaded, and I managed not to be called that name the rest of the day. All in all, it wasn't such a bad day back after the weekend. Hopefully tomorrow will start off right.

A Proud Moment

2007-05-16T13:28:00.000-05:00

Tuesday night, the living room. Mr. and Mrs. Bossy sit on the couch, reading and watching TV.

Bossy: Do you want to take a walk?

Mr. Bossy: Hmmm, I guess we could. Yes, let's do that. I guess.

Neither person moves.

Several minutes later...

Bossy: Or, we could go get some ice cream.

Mr. Bossy: Get in the car.

Impressive, no?

All's Right With the World

2007-05-15T08:34:00.000-05:00

Good news:

Last night, Mr. Bossy and I went to Target. We wanted to get an oscillating fan for our backyard, now that we have our little canopy up, and like sitting out there. So, I knew that I wouldn't be leaving Target completely empty-handed, like I did last week.

Well, we found the fan we wanted, and we also managed to buy a new clock radio. I like to wake up to the radio, but our old one was so bad that it was never on the station when it came on in the morning, and I'd have to hold it up in the air or put it on the bed with me and hold it just so in order to hear the station. This seemed like a lot of work, so I finally remembered to look for another one.

The clock radio we got is called a "Smart Clock" or something like that-- and it is totally smart! It sets itself! All I did was plug it in, and it went right to the time. Amazing. And this morning when I woke up, the radio was on my favorite station, no movement from me required. Ah, technology.

So, never fear, I left with a fan, a radio, a totally cute clutch, and about ten other things I really needed, including two books. Clearly, last week was just an aberration, a temporary lapse in sanity, and I have returned to full health and Target-shopping abilities.

Thank you all for your concern during this turbulent time.

Under My Skin, Part 2

2007-05-14T11:57:00.000-05:00

I thoroughly enjoyed your comments on my post about phrases that should be dropped. They stirred up many emotions in me, so I thought I'd just respond en masse.

I totally say "Dude" all the time. I don't know why. It's a sickness.

I also say "anyhoo", but I got that from Mayor.

I do not care for most things Wayne's World, although I believe I saw it in the theatre in tenth grade with someone who reads this blog regularly. You know who you are.
(I especially hate in Wayne's World when they do that "doolee doo" thing with their hands.

I have never heard "totes" for totally, but that is hideous and also cracked me up at the same time.

I also say "my bad".

This didn't come up, but I also do a lot of "initial speaking", like KIT, etc. I really can't stop that.

Based on all this information, I have learned that speaking to me would probably irritate many of you, but hopefully we could work through it.

Feel free to continue to add phrases/words that you'd like to ban. I love hearing from you!

I think I need help

2007-05-11T15:51:00.000-05:00

Something very weird happened today.

I went to Target, and came out with...

nothing.

NOTHING. And I was in the mood to purchase! I didn't even get gum! Or something striped that I didn't really need, but it was too cute.

I don't understand what has happened to me. I wasn't in my normal Target, maybe I just felt out of place or something. Granted, it's nice not to spend over $100 on a bunch of "stuff", but I had high hopes for some new Target stuff.

I plan to try again as soon as possible. I will not give up without a fight.

Under My Skin

2007-05-09T08:45:00.000-05:00

I'd like to propose that the following phrases be dropped from the English Language immediately:

-- It's ON!

-- Don't even go there

-- Been there, done that (with or without "bought the T-shirt")

-- You go, girl

-- Step up (particularly in the reality show context)

-- Let's talk about that offline

--- Cool beans

--- Homey don't play dat (I mean, seriously. What year is it?)

Your turn...

Memory Loss

2007-05-07T20:17:00.000-05:00

I used to pride myself on having an excellent memory. I can still remember a lot of stuff, but I'm not quite as sharp as I used to be. I guess I'm aging or something, or maybe my brain is just too full of all my knowledge...

Anyhoo, today Mayor and I had to go to an all-morning meeting, so afterwards we went out to lunch. At our meeting, she was sitting by this girl who introduced herself to us as Catherine. We chatted with her a little, and she had several comments to make during the meeting.

Over lunch, Mayor and I were discussing the meeting (gossiping) and talking about the different comments that people made. Over the course of our conversation, she asked me what Catherine's name was at least three times. The third time she asked me, I said snidely, "I only learned her name when she introduced herself to us today". We laughed about that a little and continued eating.

On our way out, we saw two men that she knew. She had seen them come in, and couldn't remember their names. As we passed by, one of them greeted her by name, and she introduced me to them. Both men said their full names to me as I shook hands with them.

Fifteen seconds later, when we got outside, I said, "What was that guy's name again?" She told me, and ,"I only learned it when he introduced himself JUST NOW".

What goes around comes around.

A Milestone

2007-05-03T19:12:00.000-05:00

Well, well, well... my 100th post. Better make it a good one...

Don't hold your breath.

I've been pretty busy lately, as has the rest of the world, but I did get two new things that I am absolutely loving right now.

One is... a new car! My old Jimmy finally outlived his usefulness, aka was costing more in frequent repairs than it was worth. So last week I traded Jimmy in for a new car. Well, new to me. I got myself a totally different kind of car, a Saab. I am totally loving it-- the gas mileage alone is unbelievable! I'm not even used to having a car in which the gas gauge works, much less tells me how many miles I have until I run out. Anyway, I'm having fun thinking of places I should drive.

Secondly, and most importantly, I got a new niece! My brother and his wife had a baby last week, and I have been spending most of my free time at his house, staring at this baby. This isn't my first niece or nephew, I have three others, but they live far from me. I'm just not used to having a "local". She is, as you can imagine, precious.

So anyway, that's what's mainly been going on with me. I'm running a Silent Auction tomorrow, and all the donations are in my office, making it impossible for me to move my chair or get out of the room without major effort. I'll be glad when that's over.

Thank you for hanging in with me, I think I'll do better about posting now that the auction will be behind me!

Godzilla Attacks the City

2007-04-25T13:45:00.000-05:00

I'm in charge of a Silent Auction for my job. The auction is less than two weeks away, and about this time every year, my office starts filling with donations for the auction. Some of these donations are fantastic, and some is stuff you couldn't pay me to take home.

Anyway, my office isn't tiny, but it isn't huge either. So, it's getting harder and harder to move around in here through all the piles of stuff. Yesterday, I had cleared two spots that would enable me to come in and out of my office.

Yesterday afternoon, I decided I needed to get up for something, and I started my climb through my office. I was wearing shoes with heels, so it was a little precarious anyway. I started at my chair, hoisted my leg over one pile of stuff, landed in the first clear spot, and was propelled over the second pile and into the doorway. Somehow I caught some serious momentum doing this, so I basically came flying through my office and all the junk and landed just in the doorway. I am not at all graceful or agile, so it was really quite a feat.

At that precise moment, one of my co-workers, whose office is right next to mine, came around the corner to ask me something.

I landed directly in her face.

Now, I've told you this before: I am not small. But she is. So, not only did she have the first surprise of someone landing right in her personal space, I am like twice her size, so it was a very frightening scene, I'm sure.

She looked absolutely terrified, and we both started laughing so hard we couldn't talk. I truly was like Godzilla attacking this poor little village. She may not recover.

Thank you for being a friend...

2007-04-23T20:19:00.000-05:00

I know I haven't written in a while, but I am finding it harder and harder to blog everyday. I don't know why, and I hope that y'all are still checking in with me!

I do have important news to share:

Tonight, I have added another celebrity sighting to my ever-growing list. This evening, I had the privilege, along with my friend A Real Mother, of standing in line to get a book signed by the fabulous Rue McClanahan. Now, I am assuming that you know that she is none other than the fabulous Blanche Deveraux on one of the all-time greatest shows, The Golden Girls.

I'm not sure I can adequately convey how awesome I think The Golden Girls is. I mean, those four were totally fabulous in their outfits and their bawdy talk, and I still laugh out loud every time I watch it. My favorite episode (or at least in the top 5) is when Blanche and Rose enter the songwriting contest and write the smash hit: "Miami, Miami"

Miami, Miami, you've got style... blue skies, sunshine, white sand by the mile...

Wow, do I love it.

So, you can imagine how thrilled I was at the chance to meet Miss Rue. She was signing her book, "My First Five Husbands" and she read from it. One of the things she read was a part of the script from the Golden Girls, and she did a Bea Arthur impression. That brought down the house, let me tell you.

And speaking of the house... the Rue fans were a motley crew, to say the least. There was a group of women younger than I all wearing puffy painted "I love Rue McClanahan" t-shirts. There were two different women carrying Golden Girls purses. There was a woman who could have been Estelle Getty's twin. There were two older women in front of us dressed like the GGs who cut in line simply because they couldn't follow the tape arrows that dictated the line.

There was also a wonderful man in front of us who heard us berating ourselves for not bringing a camera (it said no pictures!) and offered to take our picture with his camera and email it to us tomorrow.

When we got to the table, our dorkiness around celebrities reared its ugly head. All we could say to Rue was "thank you! thank you!" She was lovely and gracious, as you can well imagine, and she called my friend "My dear".

God bless you, Borders Books, for bringing this woman into my life! Viva la Blanche!

Huh?

2007-04-17T15:13:00.000-05:00

I really love bumper stickers. I don't have any on my car, but I love to read them. In college, I had a running list of all the bizarre bumper stickers my friends and I saw.

Today, as I was driving down the street, I found myself behind a car with a gigantic bumper sticker on it. The sticker read:

If it's not a baby, you're not pregnant.

What?

I don't think I understand that. If what isn't a baby? And who thinks they are pregnant if they have something besides a baby? Is this a really big problem? I feel like I must be missing something here, and maybe this is some serious issue with which I am simply not familiar, but I am baffled.

If anyone can help me, I sure would appreciate it.

Also, feel free to list your favorite bumper stickers in the comments section as well.

On My Mind Today

2007-04-13T09:01:00.000-05:00

So, I have not solved the mystery of the sawdust scent. I can't even come up with a decent explanation or even a guess. But, I do have a few other things to share that might entertain you in the meantime.

In the Television Category:

1. Friday Night Lights is SO. GOOD. This week was the season finale, and as is my weekly custom, I wept. Not out of sadness, but out of how much I LOVE THAT SHOW and every person on it. I highly recommend that you rent the first season on DVD if it comes out or at the very least catch it in re-runs this summer so you can watch next year. I will be happy to hold tutorials on this show if you have any questions. Watch it. Do this for me or I will come to your house and make it smell like sawdust.

2. Grey's Anatomy: Are you ever going to be new again? Clip shows don't count.

3. Idol: I was not sad to say goodbye to Haley, although Phil would have been fine by me too. I am not speaking about this S. Malakar situation. Team Doolittle, all the way.

4. Notes from the Underbelly: I am watching it right now on Tivo. Did anyone watch it? Should I bother? I am not committed yet.

5. Classics: The OC started up on Soapnet this week, and I am LOVING reliving the glory that was Season One. Even though Mischa Barton is on there, it's so so good.

I'm an idiot category:

1. It rained a lot last night. This morning (I'm off today), I came downstairs and looked out at my beautiful new canopy. I realized that some of the rain was pooling in the tent, so I decided to push it out. Long story short, I'm soaking wet.

2. I'm doing something tomorrow and I need to read from these papers (I can't be too specific on this). Anyway, suffice it to say that I spent a good bit of time with one of my co-workers making these papers into a booklet so I could read them more easily and without being distracting by shuffling them around too much. Yesterday afternoon I came home and was looking over it. I knew that I had originally printed four pages, and this was only two. I searched everywhere; my house, my car. Finally I decided that I must have left the other half at my office, so I drove back over last night. Nothing. I searched the whole room, including the trash. I printed it out again, but didn't remember how to copy it to make it into a booklet, so I decided I would leave and go back today and see if someone could help me.

A couple of hours later I open up my planner, where I had stuck the two pages I already had, and realized that by turning the papers into a booklet, I STILL HAD THEM ALL, they just were consolidated now because they were copied on both sides. So basically I wasted all that time looking for something I already had. Brilliant.

Music Category:

1. I'm going to see Justin Timberlake! I can't wait. I just got the email from my friend Really I'm a Mother, and she and Mayor and I are going to the show this summer! We're bringing sexy back.

OK, I can't pull that off. But I am going to love it nonetheless.

Dust up

2007-04-11T21:02:00.000-05:00

So, last night I am getting ready for bed, and I can barely breathe all of a sudden due to this bizarre scent. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't something I was too familiar with.

And then I realized: It was sawdust, and it was me. I DO smell like sawdust. It was overpowering! I'm serious. It was following me everywhere.

Why do I smell like sawdust? It has been a pretty long time since I used a power saw--or a drill--- or whatever else creates sawdust, and I certainly haven't done that it in my pajamas. So, really... what is it? Is it my shampoo? My detergent? My own odor?

This is a mystery that I may not solve. Help me.

Sweet Nothings

2007-04-07T19:12:00.000-05:00

One night this week, I was semi-asleep in my bed when Mr. Bossy finally decided to come upstairs and go to bed too. When he got in the bed, I rolled over next to him. A few minutes later, he says,

"You smell like sawdust".

Well, for some reason, that made me laugh really hard. I can't image why I would smell like sawdust, since as you know, I'm not too handy. I managed to get control of myself, and was settled down again, when:

"Seriously. You smell like Home Depot".

So, I am giggling away, trying to figure out why I might smell like sawdust, when he says this:
"Oh, Lord. This is going to be in the blog."

It's nice that he knows me so well.

Finally.

2007-04-04T19:04:00.001-05:00

Well, I know you've all been waiting with baited breath, so without further ado....

Here are pictures of the finished product:

I can't believe how non-simple this process was, particularly for my almost 70-year old father, but I must admit I am totally excited about having it.When I was thanking him last night, I said, "I didn't realize what an intense project this was going to be", and bless his heart, he said "The challenges made it more fun." He must have had a hell of a good time, then.

I promise that I will not talk about this thing anymore, as I am sure I've bored you to tears with my little mini-drama. I am sure many blog-worthy things will happen in the next few days to keep you interested.

Just one more thing: lest you think there was nothing left to remind me of how far we've come, here is a little remnant left in my yard.

Progress

2007-04-03T12:31:00.000-05:00

Well, I apprecite the many inquiries I have received regarding this canopy, and wanted to give you an update on its progress. When last I left you, it was UP ON CEMENT BLOCKS in our backyard. I am sure Southern Living was on its way to photograph it, because it was a lovely sight to behold.

The day my dad left it on the blocks (just to get it the right height), I took Mr. Bossy out back to show him what the situation was, and there was my next door neighbor and a bunch of his friends all walking around his backyard, admiring his handiwork. I was mortified. I was like "I didn't want you to see this-- it's only temporary-- blah blah idiot" and he was like "relax, lady". In my defense, he is a groundskeeper at a country club in our area, and his yard is slightly nicer than ours.

Anyway, my dad then decided that he would build these little forms in which he could pour concrete, in order to raise the canopy up enough so it could clear the door. Saturday morning, he came over around 10 am with 9 bags of concrete, a wheelbarrow, a pick axe, two shovels, a trowel, a T-square, his toolbox, a power saw, and a drill.

We did all the measuring and planning and line drawing and all that stuff, and then it was time to pour the concrete into these "L"-shaped forms. Well, as soon as we poured the first one, the boards of the form totally collapsed and we were holding it all together with our hands and a prayer.

So, we had to scoop all the concrete back into the wheelbarrow before it set, and he decided that he could make the forms stronger with screws instead of nails. Now, as you may or may not have gathered, the Bossies don't have that many tools. We have a hammer and a few nails, a couple of screwdrivers, and that's about it. So, when he was like "Do you have any wood screws?" I looked at him blankly for a while and wandered off to the garage to try to find something. Eventually we scraped together the necessary pieces and made much stronger forms.

At one point during the morning, I said "I have to leave in a few hours to go to a birthday party, is that OK?", to which he responded "In a few hours I'll be dead".

So, a few hours later, I left my (still living, thankfully) father out on my back slab surrounded by his tools and pouring concrete into forms. The front two weren't too difficult, but the back two had to be off the concrete (due to a light fixture on the house) and in the grass, which is on a slope. So, he had to dig and you know... do all that stuff to make it level. I told him not to stay out there too long, but I learned later that he worked well into the late afternoon. He may be regretting that he lives so close to me.

So, that's where we are right now. The forms are in place, and this afternoon he is coming over to help me lift it onto the forms and anchor it into place. I can assure you, no matter what it looks like, I'm telling him how much I love it, or else I might get a bag of concrete "accidentally" dropped on my foot, if you know what I mean.

I hope that tomorrow I will have pictures of the finished product for you. These pictures aren't so great, but I was trying to quickly snap a couple while I had the chance. Thanks for sticking with me through the Drama of the Canopy. Tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion, fingers crossed.

Blogger's Remorse

2007-04-01T19:24:00.000-05:00

Dear Friends,

If any of you are even still reading this blog after I have been so very lazy about posting, I am grateful. I think I can do better now, I just had a difficult time getting to it this week, not that there weren't several blog-worthy events in my life.

Some of the highlights of the week included:

-- watching a bunch of 50-something year old women talk about me in a tight little circle while I just sat in my chair and watched.

-- being screamed at by a parking attendant for doing the wrong thing while trying to enter the deck. First, he LEFT THE BOOTH AND CHASED ME, then made all the cars behind me back out onto the street. It was awesome.

-- receiving my second parking ticket in three weeks.

-- overhearing critical comments regarding a performance I was a part of -- made by a woman who was already on THIN ICE with me.

-- The Service Engine light coming on in my car-- the A/C broke last week too. My car is a piece.

When I look at it in writing, it sounds like I had a pretty bad week, but it actually wasn't so bad. I did get to celebrate three different birthdays, see some of my friends, and watch a lot of "The Office", so it wasn't a total wash. Plus it rained, so a little bit of the pollen finally got washed away.

I will be back tomorrow to tell you more in the continuing saga of The Bossies and the Backyard Canopy, starring my father and more tools than you can imagine... I even have pictures! How's that for a teaser?

Nothing Worth Having Is Easy

2007-03-23T11:57:00.000-05:00

Well, as you know, I bought the gazebo/canopy thing for our back slab on Monday night. I have today off, so my dad came over this morning to help me put it up. Easy as pie, right?

Since this probably isn't your first day reading my blog (but if it is, welcome!) , you know that nothing ever goes really smoothly the first time around for the Bossies. So, my dad comes over this morning, and we get it out to the backyard and start to assemble it.

The whole thing was going together pretty smoothly, until I realized one small problem:

Due to the height of the frame of the canopy, we can't open the back door.

Now, you may be wondering why I can't just move it back far enough so that the door can open, and that's a fair question. However, our backyard (tiny) drops off immediately at the end of the concrete and is a small hill to the privacy fence our backyard neighbors just put up. (I guess we were bugging them? Who knows. Maybe they don't like dead plants.)

So, instead of flying into a rage, I just looked to my dad for a solution. And of course, he had several. (One of them was taking the whole thing back, but I vetoed that idea). What we're actually going to do is make some concrete forms to raise it up a little bit so that the door can open.

Anyway, as usual, it is going to take a little longer than usual, but I am hopeful that soon I will be the proud owner of a backyard gazebo AND will be able to get to it. I'll be sure to keep you posted.

For the Love of Target

2007-03-20T15:44:00.000-05:00

Let's see if this scenario sounds at all familiar to you. You decide to go to Target to pick up a couple of things that you need. An hour and hundreds of dollars later, you're standing at the counter wondering why you came for toothpaste and detergent and are leaving with three new shirts, two bags, some books, some totally cute plates, and some hair products.

Anyone?

Well, yesterday when I got home from work, Mr. Bossy says to me "Do you want to go to Target?" He barely had the sentence out of his mouth before I was like "Hell, yeah! Let's go!"

You may not know this, but Mr. Bossy is teaching himself Italian. He likes to study. So, he bought some software and some books, and is teaching himself to speak Italian. We don't have a trip to Italy planned, but someday we might, so he wants to be ready. Plus, he likes to learn about Italian wine. (I'm not sure you need to speak Italian to do this, but whatever. Someone in our household should enjoy studying and learning).

Anyway, he wanted a notebook and some "flashcards" so help him with his studies, so he wanted to go to Target. Now, I didn't need anything specific, except some laundry detergent, I was just along for the ride.

So, our first stop was of course... the One Spot. All Hail the One Spot. You remember, if you've been reading this scintillating blog for awhile, that I got a kitchen chalkboard for Christmas. I finally got it hung up to my liking, and am loving having it so far. So, you can imagine my delight when I approached the One Spot and saw CHALK SHAPED LIKE EASTER EGGS! Into the cart they went.

We managed to do pretty well, just getting what we came for, until we got to the Garden area. Now, we have a pretty small yard, and on the back of our house is a 10 x 10 concrete slab, basically, where we keep our grill and ... a dead plant. (I kill things). Anyway, our neighbors bought this fabulous canopy thing for their slab last year, and it totally makes their back yard look a million times better. So, we tried to get one last year, but they were out of stock or something.

But! When we got to the garden section, there they were, in all their glory. We asked the price on the one we wanted, and it was pretty reasonable! The guy said they even had it in stock. We must be living right!

Well, when the guy actually went into the warehouse, he couldn't find it, but he called another Target and found out that they had three of them. So, off we went. After a few false starts with the Target employees, ( one of them referred to both Mr. Bossy and me as "ladies"), we were the proud owners of this baby:

Bear in mind, that's not my backyard and we don't have that furniture. Remember: At press time we have a grill and a dead plant. But, my handyman dad is coming over sometime this weekend to help us put it up, and I am sure that I will get it furnished shortly thereafter. I am super-pumped about this.

Two hours, two Targets, Two hundred-some odd bucks all added up to one fabulous Monday at the Bossy house.

Thank you, Soapnet

2007-03-14T20:35:00.000-05:00

Attention please!

Soapnet has made an EXCELLENT programming decision:

Beginning Monday, April 9, THE OC will join their lineup! This means I can re-live the glory that was Season 1 (and totally skip season three, that piece of crap--except when Marissa died) all the time!!

When I first heard this news, I was a little nervous that The OC was going to take the place of its mother show, a certain BH 90... you know the rest. But! I checked the website and this is what they had to say:

"The O.C." and "One Tree Hill" will air Monday-Friday, beginning April 9. The O.C. will air at 6PM, One Tree Hill at 5PM. SOAPnet's number 1 acquired soap with women 18-34, Beverly Hills 90210, will lead into both new series at 3PM and 4PM.

So, I see I'm not the only 18-34 year old woman with a serious problem. Congrats to me.

Additionally, for those of you who watch Idol--- Melinda Doolittle-- LOVE HER. Thank you.

Donna Martin Procreates!

2007-03-13T20:19:00.000-05:00

So, Tori Spelling is in labor. I haven't seen yet that the baby was born, a boy that I can only HOPE is named David Silver McDermott. Or something like that.

You know a die-hard 90210-er like me couldn't let this slide. However, in the interest of full disclosure, I have NO LOVE for Tori OR Donna Martin. How could the creative genius that is Aaron Spelling have created that girl?

Donna was definitely my least favorite character on this show, even though I do own a "Donna Martin Graduates" t-shirt. However, when I watch that episode now, I am completely baffled by why the students thought they could fight the school board for the right to be drunk at prom.
I mean, what? And they won? If you haven't seen it (hard to fathom), Donna knew that anyone who was caught drunk at prom would be thrown out of school. So she got drunk, went to prom, got kicked out of school, FOUGHT THE SCHOOL BOARD IN A WALK-OUT OF FINALS PROTEST LED BY BRANDON WALSH , and got to graduate? That's not what would have happened at my school, how about you?

And come on...her hair? Horrible throughout the years, especially that sophomore year of college with the insanely platinum blond bob when she was getting thrown down the stairs by her "musician" boyfriend, Ray Pruit. And do NOT get me started on her ever-growing boobs. Seriously?

All right, I will step out of 1993 and join you now in the present, where Tori Spelling is still on my mind. Damn you, Donna Martin. You always win.

I TOLD you, I like Cookies!

2007-03-12T12:19:00.000-05:00

I went out of town Thursday morning (early) and didn't get back until last night. Some of my stories wouldn't be particularly funny to you, as you don't know the people I was with, and you aren't a member of this particular group I was traveling with (or ARE you? That's the mystery of the blog world).

Anyway, Mr. Bossy wasn't with me on this trip, but I did call him every night to chat. One night , he said that he had gone out with some friends. He then said, "I was so hungry when I got home that I ate a couple of the Tagalongs that you had put in the freezer. I didn't eat too many though, because I know they are your favorite".

Now, let me take just a moment to clarify this. Tagalongs are probably my favorite cookie EVER. When I see the Girl Scout cookie form, I start dreaming of the moment that the Tags enter my life again. I put this box in the freezer specifically so I would have them at a later date, when I had exhausted my supply. I've already eaten the other box we got, and my supply from my niece in Ohio had not yet arrived (BTW-- GS Cookies in Ohio are cheaper than they are in my state. Very strange).

So, when he told me this, I said, "Well, that's good, I do really love them, so I am glad you only ate a few."

Lest you think I am a totally selfish barwife who won't share food with her husband, HIS favorite kind is Samoas and I ordered him plenty, and I rarely eat those. So, he has cookies to keep him occupied. Also, there was a community box of Thin Mints. So, just relax.

Cut to last night, after dinner. I go to the freezer to investigate the Tagalong situation, and open the box to find three left. Meaning that Mr. Bossy ate TWELVE of them. (Not that I couldn't do that, mind you, but that's beside the point here).

You can imagine that in my totally exhausted state, I didn't handle this well. "MR BOSSY!" I yelled (insert full name there). "WHAT?" he replied. I walk into the living room, waving the cookie box, yelling and screaming about the lack of Tagalongs and how twelve cookies is not the same as "a couple". I mean, seriously. I LIKE COOKIES. I THINK ABOUT THEM A LOT. Has he not read this blog?

Anyway, to his credit, he took full responsibility and said he'd get me some more. However, this morning, my cookies from Ohio arrived, so...crisis averted. At least for now.

Now, I don't want you to think I am some sort of raving lunatic who freaks out over cookies, but... apparently that's exactly what I am. Sheesh.

I Really Hate This Song

2007-03-07T10:21:00.000-05:00

I know I've been a bad blogger lately, I have had a terrible time coming up with something to write about lately. But, I have been thinking about the following:

There is a commercial on right now, I think it might be for Wendy's, that has that song "Blister in the Sun" by the Violent Femmes.

I HATE THAT SONG. I hate it so much. I hope I don't start hating Wendy's as a result of how much I hate that song. That would be a tragedy.

This got me to thinking about a few other songs I really despise, so here they are, in no particular order:

1. "Photograph" by Nickelback. If you don't hate this song, you aren't paying attention to the lyrics:
Look at this photograph! Everytime I do it makes me laugh! How did our eyes get so red? And what the hell is on Joey's head?

Great start there, buddy. Riveting writing.

2. "3 AM" by Matchbox 20: "the clock on the wall's been stuck at three for days". Oh no.

3. "Ironic" by Alanis Morrissette. "10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife" ???? Oh no! I have 10,000 spoons! Crap! All I need is a knife!

4. "Don't Cha" (or however you spell it) by the Pussycat Dolls. I hate them and everything they produce. "Buttons"? Shut up.

I think there have to be more. I welcome your additions to this list.

An Intellectual Conversation

2007-03-02T10:01:00.000-05:00

Scene: Me, sitting on the couch staring dreamily off into space. Mr. Bossy, sitting next to me, reading or something.

Mr. Bossy: What are you thinking about?

Me: (coming back to earth)...Do you really want to know?

Mr. Bossy: yeah, sure.

Me: Cookies. I was thinking about cookies.

Mr. Bossy: OK. What about cookies?

Me: I like 'em.

Yep. That was the extent of it. I think about cookies. Pretty regularly, if you must know.

Game On

2007-02-27T18:01:00.000-05:00

I don't think that I fully comprehend the number of blogs that are out there. Sometimes I look around wherever I am and wonder how many of the people there have blogs. Or, I wonder if any of those people have ever read my blog, or if I've read theirs. Not all of my friends know about my blog. It is sort of weird how I don't talk about blogging in my normal life.

As you have probably noticed, up on the top of the page, there is a button that says "Next Blog". So, having a little bit of free time on my hands, I thought I would make up a game called "next blog".

Now, you may or may not know that I have made up a few games in my day. My friend Lindsay and I once made up a card game called "booked". I can't remember how to play it.

I once made up a game called "unfuzzy peach", but that mainly involved saying the words "unfuzzy peach" to each other down a line. Not that fun, if you stop and think about it. Or if you actually play.

Perhaps the greatest game I ever made up was called "Money on the Floor", which involved a bunch of girls standing in a circle, someone screaming "MONEY ON THE FLOOR" and throwing a coin on the ground. Then, everyone would yell and scream and dive for the money. I'm telling you, it was no holds barred and an insane amount of fun. That game really spiced up the high school chorus retreat, if you know what I mean.

So, anyway, the game I made up, "Next Blog", is not too hard. Just press the button and see where it takes you. I did this fairly quickly and here's what I got:

Indian Food Recipes
Tupac Shakur Blog (not Tupac's blog, unfortunatley, just a blog about him)
Christian Musings
Dating tips for men seeking hot women (I think this one was my favorite)
Global Warming
Movie Reviews
Maserati Cars

So, if you're bored, give it a try! You might find someone you know! Or, you might find someone who has something a little more interesting and inspiring to tell you than some freak who writes about "unfuzzy peach" games.

Tears Roll Down

2007-02-26T11:05:00.000-05:00

As I have told you a few times before, occasionally I have been known to shed a tear over something on television. OK, actually, I cry a lot. Last night, as I watched the Oscars, I started thinking about all the different things that made me cry during the show. I tuned in late, so I missed some parts, but here are the things that got me last night:

1. Jennifer Hudson's speech. I was just so excited for her.
2. Forrest Whitaker's wife during his speech.
3. The clip from "The Pursuit of Happyness", which I haven't seen.
4. Beyonce singing.
5. In Memoriam, introduced by Jodie Foster.
6. Thinking about the last episode of the OC.

Those are the things I can remember off the top of my head. What got to you? And don't say "nothing". I don't believe that you are that hard-hearted.

31 Flavors

2007-02-21T14:01:00.000-05:00

Well, today is my birthday. That's right, I'm thirty-one today... and, if you're following the liturgical calendar, you know that it is also Ash Wednesday. Nothing says "party" like the beginning of Lent!

Anyway, I don't have anything terribly funny to tell you today, so I thought I would tell you about the things on my mind today, as I turn 31. I was thinking about all the ways I am the same as I was 10 years ago, at 21, and all the ways I am different. Here's what I've come up with:

1. 10 years ago, I was in college and was living in Florida. Now, neither is true.
2. 10 years ago, I weighed a lot less than I do now, but I still thought I was fat.
3. I did not have a Master's Degree 10 years ago, and had no intention of getting one. I have one now.
4. 10 years ago, I wore jeans all the time. Jeans are still the clothing of my life.
5. 10 years ago, I worried all the time that I would never get married, and I had no idea Mr. Bossy even existed.
6. 10 years ago, I could (and did) stay out late and still get up early and be functional. Today that is a lovely but faded memory.
7. 10 years ago, I thought the internet was weird and that I'd never really get the hang of it.
8. 10 years ago, Mayor of Crazytown was my best friend. Lucky for me, she still is.
9. 10 years ago, I never carried a purse. Perish the thought.
10. 10 years ago, I drove a purple pick-up truck. Fortunately, I don't any more.

I guess a lot has changed, but one thing remains constant:

Happy Birthday to my cowboy boots! They are 14 today and just as beautiful as the day I got them, over at Cowpunchers Palace. Thanks for everything, y'all.

Failure

2007-02-20T16:04:00.000-05:00

Friday morning, on my way to work, I decided to swing by and get my emissions inspected. I had even remembered to save cash in case it was cash only, so I was ready to go. I always go to the same place, "Dad's", and I knew that they were quick and friendly.

So, I pull into the station, start to chat with the guy as he works. We get to the very end of the test, the gas cap portion of the exam, and the computer says "Failure". Ouch.

So, the man seems unfazed, and tries again. "Failure".

He squirts my gas cap with some sort of cleaner, and tries again. "Failure".

I am starting to take this personally, and I say "What does this mean?" He says, "You failed the test".

Now, I have failed a test or two in my day. I distinctly remember failing a test in 11th grade on "Hamlet". Hell, in college I failed an entire course. (Computer science. In my defense, I was a music major and had no idea how to WRITE computer programs). However, nothing was so painful as failing my emissions test. What a loser!

However, the man at "Dad's" couldn't have been more reassuring. He sent me down the street to the auto parts store (first time ever) and told me to buy a gas cap. I walked into the store and told the man in there what I needed. He found it, and I paid my nine bucks for it, and went on my way, but not before both people working there said I looked "awfully smiley for a person who just failed her emissions test".

I installed the gas cap all by myself, and headed back to Dad's. A few minutes later I passed the test and was on my way back to work. I felt mostly relief, but there was a tiny part of me that was thinking "DAMN! I thought I was going to get a new car".

But alas, Jimmy remains with me for another year.

Ipod Game

2007-02-16T13:57:00.000-05:00

I've seen this on some other blogs, and thought it would be fun to try. I guess you just open your Itunes or Ipod, put it on Shuffle, and fill in the blanks. Here's what happened when I did that:

Opening Credits: One Sweet World, Dave Matthews Band

First Day of School: Livin' On Love, Alan Jackson

Falling In Love: Hits from the Bong, Cypress Hill

Fight Song: Light My Candle, Rent Sountrack

Breaking Up: Steal My Kisses,

Prom: The Perfect Fan, Backstreet Boys

Life: Sunday, Bloody Sunday, U2

Driving: Fly Away, Indigo Girls

Flashback: Knowing Me, Knowing You, Mamma Mia! Soundtrack

Getting Back Together:Power of Two, Indigo Girls

Wedding:Touch Me Fall, Indigo Girls

Party: 3 MCs and 1 DJ, Beastie Boys

Birth of a Child:Where is Your Heart, Kelly Clarkson

Death Scene:Here with me, Dido

Funeral Song:Don't Wanna Lose You Now, Backstreet Boys

Ending Credits: What's Left of Me, Nick Lachey

This has proved to me that I have some bad taste in music. I am loving it that TWO songs were Backstreet Boys songs. Way to go, Bossy.

I am also glad that my falling in love song was "hits from the bong". Impressive.

Try it, it's fun.

Tune in soon for a post on a recent failure in my life. It's not as bad as it sounds.

Complaint Department

2007-02-14T13:10:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day to all! Hearts all around.

On to my complaint:

We got back from Greece in early Januray. Mr. Bossy became a shutterbug while we were there and took a whole mess of pictures with our new camera. Since we got back, he's been after me to get teh pictures printed out, so he can put them in a photo album. (I don't scrapbook).

So, a few weeks ago, I thought it would be a nice gesture to print out the pictures and surprise him with them. I went to the CVS, where I have printed my pictures before, and stood in line for the hideously beeping picture kiosk. I selected the pictures I wanted to print, followed all the instructions, and left, with the promise that I could pick them up in an hour.

The next morning, I went back to CVS to pick up my pictures, and they had no record of my visit. I had a receipt, from them, with my name and confirmation number on it, but they had no record that I had been there. I didn't have time to go through the whole process again, so they took my number and said they'd keep looking.

The next day she called me and said these pictures were nowhere to be found, but that she'd discount my pictures when I brought them back in.

After a couple of weeks, and Mr. Bossy asking about them periodically, I decided it would be a nice Valentine treat for him to give him the pictures. (Isn't that a nice way to give a present? Just put off doing something you know they want until a holiday rolls around. Wife of the year, right here.).

Anyhooo... I took the card in yesterday, went through the whole process again, got a receipt, told her I'd be back in the morning, and went on my merry way. I went in this morning on the way to work. I was in line behind an extremely angry woman who was demanding her money back and yelling at the top of her lungs about everything and anything.

I get to the counter and hand over my slip. She said , "I was trying to work on this". We went over to the kiosk, and there was my info, with a big ERROR beside it. Apparently, it didn't work AGAIN. She said she'd keep trying and call me later.

In her defense, she did call me, but only to tell me that she couldn't make it work, so she just deleted my order. So, once again, I have failed to give Mr. Bossy his pictures.

This is a long story to say that I will now be doing these kinds of deals at Wolf Camera.

Reunited and it Feels So Good

2007-02-12T15:35:00.000-05:00

If you have been reading this blog for a while, you may remember that back in November, I wrote a post about Brian, a server at the restaurant where Mr. Bossy and I went to celebrate his birthday.

Well, the restuarant we went to is about 20 or so minutes away from our house, and is a pretty nice restaurant, so we don't get to go there that often.

I have finally finished all the writing I have been working on, Mr. Bossy finally got another cook in his restaurant, so we decided that we would go there this past Saturday night. We figured out that Mr. Bossy and I haven't been OUT to dinner, just the two of us, (we do a lot of group activities) since August, so it was HIGH TIME we did something like that.

So, we get to the restaurant early to sit at the bar and have a couple of cocktails, and who should be bartending, but Brian! I noticed right away how cute the bartender was, but I didn't put two and two together to realize who it was until he said "Are you here celebrating?" and I said "No, not really, just wanted to get out of the house". He said "I remember you, you were here a few months ago celebrating a birthday, and you sat over there with three other people."

Hot damn! I still got it.

Dear Grey's Anatomy,

2007-02-09T17:12:00.000-05:00

I love you very much, but if I wanted to watch ER, I would.
Thanks.
Love,
Bossy

Zip It

2007-02-07T23:11:00.000-05:00

So, today I went out to lunch with some of my co-workers. I ate a good bit, I'm not going to lie to you.

When we got to the restaurant I hung my coat on the back of my chair, as you do, and ate up. At the end of the meal, I zipped up my coat, and thought "Jeez, how much did I eat?" I could barely zip my coat, but I made it happen.

I stood up to leave, and couldn't move. I jerked again. No movement.

All of a sudden I realized: I had zipped the chair into my coat. That's right. The back of the chair was INSIDE MY COAT and I was trapped.

I swear I am getting stupider every day.

What A Mess

2007-02-06T15:52:00.000-05:00

I am generally a neat person. I have a lot going on right now with work stuff, and am also still doing a lot of the writing work that I mentioned a few posts ago. Therefore, I have had to let a few things slide in my office as of late.

Here's a mental picture for you:

Currently, you cannot see the surface of my desk due to all the papers on it.

There are three to-go coffee mugs surrounding my computer.

A large bottle of Tylenol, a bottle of Advil, some hand lotion, undeveloped film, and a tube of foundation are prominently displayed on my computer hutch.

By my printer, there is a candle, an empty cup with a straw in it, a calendar, and a large stack of books.

In addition to the papers on my desk, there are two calculators ( I don't work with math), two pairs of scissors, some sunglasses, a watch that doesn't work, my checkbook, two cellphones, some returned mail, and a ceramic angel that says "February".

On my floor are 4 2-liter bottles of Coke, 6 2-liter bottles of Diet Coke, a strobe light, a shopping bag full of books, some knitting, a tote, a poster, a journal, a candle, and a lighter, a heater, and a large banner. Oh, and some pottery.

There is a box of Pop-Tarts (mostly gone) under my computer hutch, along with a stack of letterhead. Under my desk you will find an empty water bottle and a bag of Reeses cups.

In my window frame, there is a wooden angel that says "Follow your dream", a homemade card, some yellow-tinted sunglasses given to me by my Mother-In-Law, an almost empty water bottle, a clay candle holder, a piece of the candle holder which has broken off, an Easter candle, a framed picture of Mr. Bossy and me on our wedding day, two lids, and a jingle bell necklace.

This is making me crazy.

Weeping Willow

2007-02-05T15:57:00.000-05:00

As I have mentioned a few times before, I am a crier. I've been crying at television for years, from sitcoms to drama to reality shows to Saved By the Bell... whatever. Commercials are especially difficult for me to get through, although with Tivo in my life, I don't watch as many commercials as I used to.

However, there is a Kleenex commercial right now that somehow gets me. I've only seen it once, but there's a guy sitting on a bench or something with a box of kleenex, and people just come and talk to him. Many of them talk about important events in their lives, and a lot of them cry. I sobbed through that commercial.

However, the one currently getting to me is the Publix Valentine's Day commercial. I saw it last year, and I remember it, so you'd think I'd be prepared. Nope. I cry over those damn salt and pepper shakers every Thanksgiving, so it's no surprise that this boy making a cake for his valentine (who turns out to be his mom) would get the tears flowing.

I don't really mind crying, in fact, I'm used to it so I kind of enjoy it. So, thanks, Publix, for giving me a good eye-cleaning.

Anything making you cry lately?

Thank you, Doctor

2007-02-02T13:08:00.000-05:00

So this morning I took a break from Advil popping and went to see my doctor. (Not for the headaches, just for a check-up). My appointment was at 9:30, and of course I didn't eat before, as I have to weigh and I try not to add any unneccessary weight.

Before we go any further, let me say that I hate weighing, much like most normal humans. It's just so humiliating.

Ok, so remember, I got there a little before 9:30 and they put me in the exam room. At about 10: 45, my doctor came in the room. We chatted a little and I mentioned that we had gone to Greece over the holidays.

He looks at my chart, where my weight is, and says, "Well, I see you remembered to EAT in Greece".

Yes, thanks, I did. Bring on the feta.

Pain

2007-01-31T11:39:00.000-05:00

Well, I know I told you I was taking a break, but I guess I lied. I am just popping on to say that this stuff I am working on is causing me to have a headache the size of Texas. Additionally, the stress has given me TMJ (I hope temporarily) and I am popping my stupid jaw like an idiot every five seconds.

I just wanted to say that THIS is the only thing getting me through and I am extremely grateful for it.

We Were On a Break!

2007-01-29T23:04:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to say hi and that I am in the middle of some stuff for my "career" that means I don't have too much time for my favorite internet pastime, blogging. However, it's all due soon, so I will be back shortly to resume my regularly blogging schedule.

Naturally, if anything seriously blog-worthy happens, I'll break my rules of study and let you know. Meanwhile, don't forget to check back in with me occasionally and I look forward to catching up soon!

Love,

Bossy

PS-- I don't know why lately I have been signing my posts. Do I think I am writing you a letter? I can't say for sure.

Attention Fellow TV Fans:

2007-01-25T13:05:00.000-05:00

Are any of you watching "Dirt", the new show on F/X with Courteney Cox?

I am, and I need to discuss it with someone. That is one freaky show.

Please let me know. Thank you.

Bossy

Me? Weird?

2007-01-24T10:19:00.000-05:00

Well, I got the tag from Jilly, so here are 6 weird things about me:

1) I sing a lot. I make up songs all the time, mostly non-songs that are just sentences set to music. I used to sing all my questions to my mom and make her sing the answers back to me. For example: WHAT is for dinner? and she would sing "Beef Stew" and so on. Anyway, my husband pretends not to like it but I think secretly he does.

2) Whenever I get in any body of water (even a pool) I am overwhelmingly homesick for my mother's house. Even if my mom is with me, I still get that initial feeling of weirdness. It goes away pretty quickly, and I'm used to it, but it has happened my whole life. I have some theories about this, but they might be too weird to share.

3) I have never used any sort of color on my hair. I get my hair cut regularly, but other than that, hair maintenance has never been that important to me. I rarely dry my hair. I do brush it in the mornings, but I don't keep a brush with me.

4) I can't go on a car trip without a legal pad. Inevitably, I will make lists with my car companions. (I am sure they think this is fun). Some of the traditional lists include: States you have been too, all the teams in the SEC, ACC, and Big 10, Team Mascots, Capitols, Countries you've visited, BCS games, etc. I've been doing this most of my life.

5) I don't mind moving, because I love packing. (I'm not real big on physical labor, so the actual moving isn't that great). I also REALLY LOVE the unpacking at the new place and putting everything where it is supposed to be.

6) The first thing I ever bought on ebay were the 90210 dolls. This was in 2004. I know you know I like 90210, but I don't think you understand how much I still think about it.

Bad news: I feel like a complete loser now.

Tag: Snake Nation
Brielvis
Sarah

They Say Confession is Good for the Soul

2007-01-23T16:22:00.000-05:00

So here's mine for the day:

I've eaten the past three meals at Chick-fil-A.

That's right. Dinner last night, breakfast this morning, and lunch today.

Here's another lil' secret:

I'm not tired of it. However, I'm not having it for dinner tonight. But I could.

Drag Queen

2007-01-22T15:53:00.000-05:00

Last week I was leaving my place of work, driving to lunch, when I heard a terrible, awful noise. I knew it was coming from my car, which has been having all sorts of problems lately. For example, the heat doesn't work.

Anyway, instead of investigating, I got on the phone with Mr. Bossy immediately and was like "Something is REALLY wrong with my car. It's making a horrible noise.... oh wait, hold on, it's changing. Wait, it stopped".

So, I look in the rearview mirror and what do I see? One of those orange traffic cones. I had been dragging it for a few blocks, and finally dislodged it. Needless to say, I just kept on driving in my noise-free car.

After I returned to work, I had to go on an errand with my boss. As we passed where I had dislodged the cone, I was like "Hey, there's my cone!" He made me get out of the car and get it and hold it in my lap until we got back to work.

Lesson learned: don't confess to stupid stuff like that.

Outside the Circle of Love

2007-01-17T09:42:00.000-05:00

OK, now, I need to preface this by saying I do have friends. I have lived basically in the same place for most of my life, and in that time have made some wonderful friends that I love very much.

HOWEVER.

There is a certain organization in my city that I have been a part of since 1998. There are a lot of people in this group, but whenever it meets, I am generally around the same people. I have traveled several times with this group, to places around the country. There are some weeks that we are together EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

For some reason, I cannot seem to make friends in this group. I have a few friends (like 3), but I also know them from somewhere else. They are not always required to be there when I am , and when they aren't there, I am always alone.

Sometimes I will just sort of walk down the hall behind someone that I sort of know, on the off chance that she might turn around and say hi to me or something. Never happens.

So, Monday night, I am at this thing, and a small group of us are waiting outside the big room for our turn to be called in. I don't know these people well, but we are all part of the same organization, we're all waiting for the same thing, etc.

I am not lying when I tell you that these people FORMED A CIRCLE and left me standing just outside it. Not like I was across the room and they were talking. I was about 6 inches outside the circle. They talked and laughed. I stood there.

What's weird is that I am not shy or quiet at all. I am not scared of people and can hold a conversation. However, if you asked any of these people about me, if they even knew who I was, they'd be like "Oh, Bossy? She's REALLY shy. She never says a word".

Which is, of course, the opposite of true. Oh well, I showed them. They are now immortalized in a blog. So ha.

Turmoil

2007-01-15T11:36:00.000-05:00

Well, I am glad that you all enjoyed getting things off your chest in the last post. I welcome that behavior anytime.

I was out of town for the weekend, up in the mountains leading a retreat. Friday as I was getting ready to go, I somehow managed to slip down in my cowboy boots (which I love, BTW... I got them for my 17th birthday, which means they are getting VERY OLD). Anyway, I was wearing them, and the heel slipped and I hit the ground. HARD.

I managed to land on my side, and I was so stunned that I just lay there for a while, wondering what I should do next. I wasn't hurt, so I was really glad that no one was around to see my situation. It turned out to be nothing major, although I was and still am quite sore.

THEN, Sunday morning, something happened with my neck. If you were/are an avid Sex and the City fan like I am, you remember the episode where Miranda pulled her neck and Aidan had to come over and lift her off the bathroom floor.

Now, John Corbett (sadly) did not have to come over and help me, but I still thought of Miranda immediately when I all of a sudden couldn't move my neck. I am now doing the robot in order to move, popping ibuprofen, and keeping the heating pad on my neck at all times.

My body is in turmoil. I am so happy that today is a holiday, so that I can sit/lie down in private while I catch up on my internet reading and tv watching.

I hope you all are in better shape than I am!

Total Slacker

2007-01-10T22:00:00.000-05:00

I don't even have that much to tell you, but I feel guilty that my last post was almost a week ago. In my defense, I'm lazy.

Also, I had to go on an overnight staff retreat earlier in the week, so I was away from the computer for a long time, and I'm still trying to catch up on all the blog reading I missed while I was in Greece.

Here are the things that are currently bugging me:

The cancellation of the OC: (you know that a die-hard 90210 fan like myself would HAVE to watch a show centered around California teens) I was ready to give up on it last season, because it was so very lame, but season four has been awesome! I am actually really sad that they cancelled it. Grrr. I did sign an online petition to "save the OC", which might make me a loser, but if you are interested, go here.

Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell: Driving me nuts. Shut up. Please.

The lack of parking at my Starbucks. Can't a barwife get a Cinnamon Dulce Latte every once in awhile?

The fact that I have no days off this week: I will be working Sunday-Sunday with no break. Barf.

Dylan cheating on Brenda with Kelly while Brenda is off in Paris with Donna: I'm aware that first happened in 1992, but that's where I am in the re-runs and it still hurts.

OK, now that I've vented a little, I feel better. I am all wrapped up in a beautiful blue monogrammed throw that Mayor gave me for Christmas, I got my TV and my snack... I think I'll make it another day. Feel free to list what's bugging you!

Tagged!

2007-01-04T18:23:00.000-05:00

I got "tagged" by Jilly-- I love these things, I'm not going to lie, so thanks!

A-Available or single? Neither

B-Best Friend? Mayor of Crazytown

C- Cake or Pie? Yellow Cake with chocolate icing

D-Drink of choice? Diet Coke, but if we mean alcohol then it really depends on what I am eating.

E-Essential item I use every day: the internet

F-Favorite color? Purple, but not in clothing.

G-Gummy Bears or Gummy worms? Ehhh.. worms I guess but the gummi doesn't really do it for me

H-Hometown? Atlanta

I-Indulgence: that would be cheese dip and 90210 reruns

J-January or February? February as it is the month of my birth

K-Kids and names: No kids, no pets

L-Life is incomplete without? red meat

M-Marriage date: August 14, 2004

N-Number of siblings: Dos

O-Oranges or apples? Apples. My mom is OBSESSED with apples. "Nature's toothbrush"

P-Phobias or fears? uhh... animals? fur?

Q-Favorite quote? "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" (Ben Franklin)

R-Reasons to smile: I finally finished taking down the Christmas decorations

S-Season: Fall-Summer-Spring-Winter in that order.

T-Tag 3 or 4 people: Snake Nation, Mayor, Country Girl, Real Mother

U-Unknown fact about me: When I was in 7th grade I ran a mile for PE. I was last. My teacher told me my time was "Pretty good for a middle aged woman".

V-Vegetable you don't like: Squash activates my gag reflex

W-Worst habit: forgetting to exercise

Y-Your favorite food? Steak

Z-Zodiac? Pisces

A Little More Martha

2007-01-04T15:30:00.000-05:00

What I didn't tell you yesterday is that when Martha saw us sitting there and realized that we recognized her, she pulled the manager over to the table and said "Sir, how did all these people get in here?" (Meaning us, I presume, since we were sitting at the only available table).

So, when I heard that, I figured she didn't really want me talking to her, and I certainly didn't want to make her mad. I tried to be real cool and get out ye olde cameraphone, but I am not smart or subtle enough to make that happen, and I didn't want her to take my phone away from me.

I still can't believe it really happened. As soon as she left the cafe, Mr. Bossy says, "Well, I know what you're going to blog about as soon as we get home".

Damn straight.

The Ultimate Celebrity Sighting

2007-01-03T20:43:00.000-05:00

Well, we are back from Greece, safe and sound. We had a great time! We stayed in Athens and saw all the good stuff, rang in the new year on the balcony of our hotel with a views of the Acropolis all lit up at night. We ate a lot of good food, including fabulous HUNKS of feta-- you can imagine how pleased I was at all the cheese available to me.

On our last day, which was New Year's Day, we signed up to do this "three island tour" through our hotel. We had to be on our bus at 7 am, so we didn't stay out too late the night before. After narrowly escaping major motion sickness on the bus, I boarded this huge boat, along with about 400 other tourists. The tour was an all day affair, and they took us to three islands and let us get off the boat and explore each one.

By the time we reached the third island, we were tired and hungry and almost out of euros. So, we decided that our first stop would be a cafe for something warm to drink and a little snack. As we passed by one cafe, the manager or someone signaled for us to come in, that he had a table for us.

So, the four of us (Mr. Bossy and I and one of the couples we traveled with) pushed our way throught the cafe to the only available table. I noticed right away that there was one other table in the cafe (the one right next to ours) that had some non-Greeks. I glanced over and was immediately drawn to one woman sitting at the table in black sunglasses. I looked at her, did a double take, and looked again.

She saw me looking at her, and sort of frowned in my direction. I sat down and kept trying to glance over at her and see if it was who I thought it was, meanwhile trying to be cool and keep talking to my friends as if nothing was happening.

All of a sudden I heard her voice, and it confirmed what I already knew:

I was sitting not six feet away from Martha Stewart.

MARTHA STEWART!

I could not believe it. I was FREAKING out. I am NOT good with celebrity-- it's a good thing I don't live in LA or something because I can't concentrate on anything, and get all nervous and weird when they are around. Plus, I have never been around a celebrity of her stature before-- my previous sightings are limited to Chipper Jones and Little Richard.

Anyway, I was too scared to approach her, and didn't want to be an amazing dork, so I managed to contain myself until she left.

I did see her take a picture of a glass on her table with a lemon wedge and a greek flag in it, so be on the lookout for that in the upcoming season.

For now, I am holding my breath until her show comes back on when she mentions the red-headed American tourist that stared her down in a cafe in Greece on New Year's Day.

It's all Greek to Me

2006-12-26T10:46:00.000-05:00

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! The Bossys had a lovely time with our families, and there were even a few surprises under the tree!

One of the best things was that his parents gave us a new digital camera, since ours has gone to camera heaven. This is very good timing, because
Mr. Bossy and I and a few other friends are taking off tomorrow for a trip to Greece. I haven't mentioned this yet, as I am quite apprehensive about the flight and haven't discussed it too much with anyone.

Anyway, I am quite relieved about the digital camera, since I had visions of myself being like "Hey look, guys! The parthenon! Let me get out my cell phone and take a picture!"

Thankfully, I won't have to embarrass myself in that way. I am sure I'll manage to freak out somehow though, most likely on the plane when my ipod runs out of power and I start climbing the walls.

Happy new year to all and I'll look forward to catching up with you all next week!

An Actual Christmas Miracle

2006-12-22T16:33:00.000-05:00

I have lost my wallet a couple of times in my life. My wallet has also been stolen before. As you probably know, dealing with cancelling cards, replacing your driver's license, refuting charges that you didn't make, etc. etc. all add up to one giant pain in the rear. Not to mention, I generally LOVE my wallets, so I hate when I don't have them anymore.

This afternoon, I left work early and ran over to the local mall, where I just went in to see if I could find a pair of black pants and maybe a festive shirt for a couple of parties I have coming up. I had pretty good luck shopping, and was leaving just in time to run by one more store and pick up a couple of last minute gifts, and make it to my eyebrow appointment.

Well, when I got to the second store, I looked in my purse and my wallet was gone. I searched through my car and my bags, and it was nowhere to be seen. I wasn't in full panic mode just yet, because I knew I had JUST used it at Macy's, so I drove back to the mall. I looked in the parking lot, retracing my steps from the store to my car, and couldn't find it.

Still not panicking, I went inside and asked the women at customer service. They hadn't seen it, but suggested I go up to gift wrap. At this point, I am getting pretty worried, and my mind is racing with all that I would have to do to cancel my cards, etc. etc.

Gift wrap did not have my wallet, so I came back downstairs and asked a few more people. Nothing. At this point I am completely miserable, and tears are starting to fall out of my eyes. (You should know that I cry easily, but that I was also freaking out about the fact that my husband and I are leaving the country on Wednesday and traveling without my cards and my license was going to be difficult, to say the least). I leave my name and numbers with the cashiers, and walk out to my car. As I am walking through the parking lot, this woman rolls down her car window and says, "Ma'am! Ma'am! What is your name?"

I look at her and loudly state my full name.

She says, "I have your wallet. I knew it was you, the way you looked so forlorn walking in the lot. Everything is here, Merry Christmas!"

I was so stunned, and so overcome that I completely started bawling. Just sobbing, right there in front of her, out of relief and total gratitude. I couldn't thank her enough, and got back in my car.

I am firmly convinced that was my own little Christmas miracle. All the way back home, cars were honking at each other and everyone was mad, but I just cranked up the Christmas carols and sang along.

Merry Christmas to all!

Full Report

2006-12-20T13:39:00.000-05:00

So, yesterday I called my husband to break the chalkboard news to him. I started by saying, "I have something to tell you."

Dead silence.

I assured him it was nothing bad, and he said "OK, what?". Finally I said "J bought me a chalkboard".

Silence.

I hurried forward with: " I promise I won't use it to nag you. If I do, you can take it down. I'll just put things on it like 'Mr. Bossy is the greatest' on there".

He said "Well, if you do use it to nag me you'll find it in two pieces".

[This is not something I am actually worried about.]

Anywaaaaay, we decided that we'd look for a place together for it. He worked late last night, so when he got home, I was already asleep. He knew I was kind of sick, so I think he was feeling sorry for me, and when I opened my eyes to greet him, I said "How did you like the chalkboard?"

He said "It looks nice".

So, all's well that ends well. As soon as I get my camera fixed I'll post a picture of it, wherever we decide to hang it.

In other news, you might like to know that a woman just arrived here at my place of work pushing a cart that she took from Kroger filled with bottles of sparkling cider for our staff. Never a dull moment.

Uh -Oh

2006-12-19T10:40:00.000-05:00

I think the second post I ever wrote on this blog told a little story about how much I wanted a chalkboard in the kitchen. My husband, as I said, was NOT AT ALL interested in this idea, and seemed to think that having a chalkboard would empower me to leave him bossy little notes.

Well, this morning, I met two of my co-workers for our annual breakfast and holiday gift exchange. We had a great time, and I got some fantastic presents! When I got to the last present, I lifted the lid of the box and found a box of chalk. Underneath the chalk was a little note that said "There is a chalkboard waiting for you in my office".

Eeee! I was so excited! And yet, so apprehensive about my husband's reaction. I can tell you, he's not going to like it. Maybe if I give him a sworn affadavit that if I ever leave bossy little notes ("Dirty dishes don't belong on the coffee table!") he can take it down. Or maybe I should just get him drunk and tell him then. Or, I could just hang it up and act like it's always been there.

I'll be sure to let you know what happens... it could very well end up in my office. Or in the guest bedroom, where I might be invited to start sleeping if I play my cards wrong!

Viva la Chalkboard!

Trapped!

2006-12-18T09:43:00.000-05:00

I go to church every Sunday, but my husband works every Sunday. Often I will go out to lunch afterwards with a friend, which is what I did yesterday. I drove, and we ended up spending the day together going shopping and doing some other stuff.

Our church has a parking problem on Sunday morning, so there is a bank parking deck right across the street that allows us to park for free. I never park there, but she does, so that's where I dropped her off yesterday evening. Not two minutes later, I get a call on my cell.

Her: Bossy! I'm trapped in the parking lot!
Me: WHAT?
Her: I can't get out.
Me: OK, I'll be right there.

So, I parked and walked across the street to the parking lot where she was just sitting in her car at the exit, waiting for the electronic arm to go up. Apparently it is usually up on Sunday afternoons so the church folk can get out, but I guess they put it back down after a certain time.

Well, I tried to open it for her manually, and I am sure you can guess that was a failed mission. So I hopped in the car with her and we rode around the parking lot. We saw a man walking through and he said we'd have to pay $3 to an automated thing to get out. Instead of seeing that as the opportunity it was to actually LEAVE the parking deck, she told him, and I quote, that he was "out of his damn mind".

All of a sudden, the humor of this situation struck us, so we are cackling loudly and driving through the parking deck, looking for any possible exit. Every exit we came upon had an electronic arm that was firmly shut against us.

Finally we saw a car about to leave the parking lot. We were pretty sure we could follow them out under the arm, just like you do if you've ever lived in a gated community and forget your card. So, as the car pulls out, the driver taking his own sweet time, we try to get through the exit.

WHAM. Down came the arm on the car. We are laughing so hard at this point it didn't even matter. Oh! Here comes another car, so we try it again, to no avail.

We finally decide we're just going to have to pay the three dollars, and see an exit. We pull up to the automated attendant, who demands TEN dollars to let us out. Tires squeal as my friend yells, "oh hell no" and tries to find another exit.

We find one that looks broken, so I hop out and try to lift the arm. Nothing. We finally decide there is nothing else to do but pay the money, or else we were going to have to spend the night driving through the parking lot waiting for someone to help us get out.

We ride back up to the top, where we pay the three dollars and finally make it out of the lot. In the grand scheme of things, I guess three dollars was a small price to pay our freedom. Plus, we sure did laugh a lot.

One of the Best

2006-12-15T09:27:00.000-05:00

You know how there are some things that make you feel good no matter what else is going on?

Well, the other day I was exhausted and heading off to a four hour rehearsal. We had no food in the house so I was forced to eat Bran Flakes for two meals that day. (which they say on the box is a good way to lose weight. I'm not sure if it works if your other meal involves cheese and chips, but whatever). Anyway, the house is a mess, the laundry is up to the ceiling, some of the presents still haven't arrived, etc. etc. etc.

So, in my frustration, I did what anyone would do. I turned to my best friend/love of my life, tivo, and ran through the "now playing" list... and there it was. One of the best episodes ever of the best show EVER.

Now, I realize that you are not all avid 90210 watchers like I am, but I hope that you can think back to your younger days when it was the best thing going, and remember this, one of the great lines of the entire series:

Scene: Casa Walsh, the night of the spring dance (the one where Brenda gives it up to Dylan...)
Brenda and Kelly are wearing the same dress-- the black one with the white bow thing across the top.

Kelly: Brenda! I am a spring princess!

Brenda: Kelly... I don't give a damn!

I swear, everytime I see that, my mood just changes. I love it so much. After watching that, I skipped off to finish my chores, humming that beautiful theme song. (You know the one... when Dylan does the two punches to Brandon's face-- du na na na, du na na na. ch ch... )

Many thanks to you, Aaron Spelling.

Hockey Love

2006-12-14T11:21:00.000-05:00

So last night, Mr. Bossy was given a whole bunch of tickets to the hockey game. I didn't have to be anywhere, so I went with him and several of his friends.
I like going to hockey games, but I don't understand them at all. I understand most other sports, but I don't ever know what's going on with hockey, except that scoring a goal is good.

However, it's a fun atmosphere, despite being kind of cold, and I was excited to be going. I was comfortably settled into my seat, munching on my dinner, when I felt a little spray from above.

All of a sudden I realized that someone in a group of people coming down the stairs had spilled his coke. No big deal, accidents happen.

Unfortunately, I soon realized that not only was the Coke in my hair, it was all over my jacket and my chair.

I was pretty irritated by this entire turn of events, but I didn't do anything, because, well... I'm a wimp and it was an accident.

A little while later though, things started looking up when I put my hand to my chest (as if I were saying the pledge) and felt something weird.

I surreptitiously reached into my shirt and pulled out one of my socks.

Awesome.

A Helping Hand

2006-12-12T15:34:00.000-05:00

I need to buy gifts for two people graduating from college. As it is Christmas time, I don't have tons of extra cash to spend, but want to get them a little something to celebrate their accomplishments.

One is male, one is female. As far as I know, they are both moving home with their parents until they figure out what to do next, so I don't think they need stuff for a new apartment or anything like that.

Anyone have any ideas? Something you got when you graduated that you particularly liked?

And while we are on the subject of help, I would be remiss if I didn't tell you that I ordered some very cute gifts from Lauren Goessling recently, and needed to speak to her about my order. When I called her, she couldn't have been nicer or more helpful, and I found the same to be true with our follow-up emails. I love her stuff, and she is so nice to work with, so I highly recommend her to you!

Hope you are all having a lovely Tuesday, and I look forward to any gift ideas you'd like to share with me.

The Perfect Gift

2006-12-11T11:03:00.000-05:00

I don't have much time, but I had to jump on and share with you this important piece of news.

Last night, I went to the Bar's Christmas party. One of my dear friends was there, and she handed me my Christmas present. Now, I love to get presents from her and I love to buy for her because we like a lot of the same things, and it's always so fun to see what cute thing she has come up with.

So, I opened a box, and in it was something I've always wanted:
(well, at least in the past 10-12 years or so... I didn't want one as a child):

A flask.

Now, you might be thinking, "yeah? I've seen flasks...". Well, let me tell you something else.

It's pink. It is covered in this soft and beautiful pale pink leather and it is gorgeous. Now, I MAY have convinced you already, but here's the best part:

It's MONOGRAMMED.

It's like the trifecta: Liquor, Pink, and Monogrammed. What more could a Bossy Barwife want?

Oh, Snap!

2006-12-08T09:54:00.000-05:00

I know that I have been lax about my blogging responsibilities. Like all of you, I have too much going on and sometimes blogging has to take a backseat. I'm not proud of it, and I will try to do better.

This week in the Bossy house, we have been dealing with a particular issue. Monday afternoon, I get a call from Mr. Bossy. Without saying hello, he says "You're not going to like this at all". ( This is not the best way to start a conversation with me.)

I say, "WHAT? What is it?WHAT!?" and he says, "OK, I didn't do anything, I just sat down on the bed to put on my socks" (At this point I'm thinking that freaking Spencer the ferret has found me after all these years) So, I calmly say, "OK... then what?" and he's like "The bed broke."

Pardon?

"The bed broke. It just snapped, it's shattered"

Now, I know by now that Mr. Bossy is prone to exaggeration, and I'm used to it, so I try to get him to describe to me what happened. He's not explaining it too well, and I am getting more and more stressed listening to him, expecially considering we got this bed almost exactly one year ago. He was feeling pretty bad about himself, as you tend to do when things break after you sit on them, but I assured him that heavier people than he also sit on beds, and that it was really ok.

So, I came home, and inspected the damage. As I hoped, it wasn't that bad. It was really just the top left corner that had collapsed. So, we took everything off, and Mrs. Handywoman got to work. We put it all back together after I worked on it, he sat down, and ... snap. Right back where we started.

So, we took everything off again, I sat down on the floor in the middle of the frame, and did what I should have done the first time: called my dad.
If you've been reading for awhile, you know my dad is the one who installed the ceiling fan, so I knew he could handle this.

As luck would have it, he was in full handyman mode when I called him, and was willing to come right over. He brought his tools and had the bed fixed within about 10 minutes. We put it all back together again, and I sat on it. Nothing happened. I rolled over. Still good.

So, I had to go off to a rehearsal, and when I got back that night, the bed was still intact. I got in, and everything was fine. When my husband decided to get in bed, he was really nervous. He stood beside the bed and stared at it with trepidation for a few moments, and I said "It's fine. Just get in", so he eased himself in the bed the way you'd ease yourself into a freezing cold swimming pool.

He managed to get completely in the bed and was lying there stock still. I was like "See? It's fine."

His response? He decided to sing a little song... "No sudden movements". He sang that a few times, while I just listened, fully expecting the bed to crash and the fan light to come on at the same time. Neither happened, and so far (knock wood) we've survived. Every night though, he uses a little extra caution when climbing into bed, and reminds me not too move too much.

Another Tail

2006-12-05T14:59:00.000-05:00

I fee like yesterday's story isn't really complete until you know the following:

Due to the set up of the house, my bedroom was a room that used to be the garage. One wall, the wall at the top of the driveway, was sliding glass doors. The opposite wall had a closet which housed our washer and dryer.

(There were steps down to my room, which some boys once referred to as the "stairway to heaven"... but I digress).

Anyway, one morning I was awakened, not to my alarm clock, but to the sound of scratching, or sort of scrambling.

By this time, we'd had a few instances of mice, so I wasn't too freaked out, but I should have been.

Spencer the ferret had found his way into my dryer and was scrambling around, trying to get out.

We had to go across the street and ask the neighbors ONCE AGAIN to remove their ferret from my personal space.

It was then I knew that I was not meant to live there much longer.

A "Tail" from the Past

2006-12-04T16:04:00.000-05:00

I know that I have been gone for a while, and I apologize. Unfortunately I have been very busy and have had to let blogging take a backseat. I don't feel good about myself.

While I may have had some blog-worthy experiences in the past few days, I have chosen today to share with you a blast from my past.

When I graduated from college, I moved into a house with my two best friends. Mayor's dad was our landlord, and we were renting this house from him for practically nothing, which was good, because we only had money for alcohol.

I shared a small bathroom with our other roommate, while Mayor had her own bathroom. One morning, I got out of the shower and started drying off. All of a sudden, I saw on the floor, about 3 feet away from me, some sort of a creature.

This was not a mouse-sized creature, or a squirrel, or anything like that. It was more the size of a large cat, and it wasn't something I'd ever seen before. I've told you all how I feel about pets, and how uncomfortable and anxious I feel around things with fur.

You can imagine my great fear at this point. Naturally, I leapt (with total grace, let me assure you) onto the toilet so this thing couldn't get me. With my towel wrapped around me, I jumped over it and ran out the door, slamming it shut behind me. I burst into Mayor's room, practically knocking down her door, and screaming:

"HELP! HELP! THERE'S AN ANIMAL IN MY BATHROOM! IT'S SOMETHING NOT FOUND IN NATURE! HELP!" (over and over again).

She ran out of her room and right up to my bathroom door, where she stopped short and screamed, "IT'S SCRATCHING AT THE DOOR LIKE A GERMAN SHEPHERD!"

At this point we were both completely freaking out. I mean, we were screaming, laughing, and crying all at once.

So, she called her dad, the landlord, and he came over. We were standing up on the couch at this point, so we could see this creature from any angle. We could hear him from the bathroom, saying "Oh! This is someone's pet!"

WHAT? Someone's pet?

Turns out, this vile creature was a ferret. That's right, a friendly neighborhood ferret found its way into our house and INTO MY BATHROOM while I showered.

Turns out, it belonged to some teen boys who lived across the street. When our landlord returned the ferret, their only comment was, "Spencer! You bad boy".

I don't think I've ever fully recovered.

For the Love of Brian

2006-11-29T17:22:00.000-05:00

Monday night, to celebrate Mr. Bossy's ushering in of a new year, we went to dinner with his two best friends at one of his favorite places. The ride there was fairly uneventful, although Mr. Bossy and I spent a good bit of time bickering about the difference between prison and jail, and which one it is you can see gleaming in the distance when you turn into our neighborhood. (I was right. Duh).

So, at the restaurant we did go for the total dining experience... we had some rare tuna for an appetizer (I have only recently discovered that I like this, but yum), along with some white wine, and a cocktail. I also had an excellent spinach salad, a fabulous filet, and to die for creamed corn, all accompanied by some red wine, naturally.

I may or may not have told you this, but I have always been attracted to servers in restaurants. Mr. Bossy was managing a restaurant when we met, and I think this is what initially drew me to him. I spent years of my life pining over the server in my local Mexican restaurant, whose name was Radames. He was from Ecuador and I regularly referred to him as "Ecua-dorable". He was hot, let me tell you.

Anyway, the point is that I like men who bring me food. I like men who seem to want me to eat, and don't judge me if I need another bowl of creamed corn or whatever. My current crush is the extremely hot and extremely gay lunch server at my husband's restuarant. Flirting with him is the highlight of my week sometimes.

All this to say that Monday night was no exception. Our server, Brian, did the thing I love most about servers. He said, "Excellent choice" to my order every time. Now, I KNOW that he very well could have been thinking "Hideous choice, you jackass", but that's not what he said. I like to be affirmed in my decision making, so I choose to believe he was telling the truth, that he did think my choices were absolutely top-notch.

He also called me "young lady" a few times, which caused me to remind everyone at the table how MUCH YOUNGER I am than they are, which they appreciated greatly, I think.

Anyway, a few glasses/bottles of wine later, I had to announce to the table that I had a full fledged crush on Brian and that I thought it was mutual.

You might be thinking, "What a nice way to wish Mr. Bossy a happy birthday, bi-atch", but I can assure you, he rarely pays attention to the things I say in public.

A Little Help

2006-11-29T09:58:00.000-05:00

Good morning!

I have a longer post coming later today, with tales of the birthday dinner and other antics, but I wanted to get on this morning and ask for some help.

A good friend is doing some research on young professionals, how they think, what they do, how they feel about world issues/pop culture, etc. etc. etc. She is doing this for a project on young adults for a class she's taking and is trying to survey as many people as she can.

This survey will only take you 5-10 minutes. All responses will be kept in complete confidence and you won't be asked for any identifying or contact information. If you are in the 22-35ish range and have a couple of extra minutes, I would REALLY appreciate your clicking this link and taking the survey. Also, feel free to pass it on to anyone you know who is in this range, or post it on your own blog.

Thanks so much for all your help!

Young Professionals Survey

Happy Birthday, Mr. Bossy

2006-11-27T14:24:00.000-05:00

That's right, it's my husband's birthday. He is 36 today, which means he is waaaaaay older than I. Ok, not way. But enough. He's got a good 5 1/2 years on me.

Anyway, we are going out to dinner with some of his friends tonight, which should be fun. I see a lot of red meat in my future, which as you know, always pleases me.

I'm not making him a cake, for two reasons. Here they are:

1. On Thanksgiving, we went to my husband's parents' house for the first round of meals. [I think you'd also like to know that my husband drove first to his parents' old house, which they left over a year ago, and then to his sister's house, before he managed to to find his parents' house, which is a good 5 minutes from our house. He's seriously getting old].

Not only did we have the full Thanksgiving meal, but there were three pies and two birthday cakes there for him. Apparently his mom had told his grandmother that she wouldn't be making him a cake this year, but a birthday pie. Grandma did not approve, and brought him a cake. Meanwhile, his mom changed her mind and bought him a cake. So, we had a bunch of cake on Thursday.

2. Last year, I tried to make him a cake. I don't think I had ever made a cake before ( I am more of a cookie expert). Anyway, it was nothing fancy, just a cake mix cake. Well, since I was new to this, I tried to ice it before it was completely cool. So, I basically just had swirls of icing and crumbs completely covering the top of the cake. It looked hideous. It tasted fine, but the presentation was crap.

This morning, I said "I'm not making you a cake". His response "Good. I remember last year".

Fair enough.

Giving Thanks

2006-11-24T17:09:00.000-05:00

I've always said Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. If you've been reading this blog, you know how I feel about Halloween, so I won't reiterate.

At the risk of sounding sappy, I like giving thanks. I like being with family around the table, I like the fall weather, the feeling that it is officially "The Holiday Season", etc. etc.

I am thankful for a lot of serious things, like health and family and all that good stuff. But, I thought I would also list a few of the slightly more superficial things I am thankful for here for your reading pleasure.
Don't judge me, this is just for fun:

1. I am thankful that Britney left K-Fed.
2. I am thankful for Soap Net on Directv.
3. I am thankful for Mexican food.
4. I am thankful for purses.
5. I am thankful for catalogs in the mail.
6. I am thankful that I am no longer in school.
7. I am thankful that I am not shopping right now.
8. I am thankful that I have a king sized bed.
9. I am thankful for Tivo.
10. I am thankful for red meat.

What fun things are you thankful for?

Bee-Atch

2006-11-21T18:14:00.000-05:00

Well, friends, today you should be giving thanks that you don't work with me (except for you. Sorry).

Anyway, I wasn't very nice today. In fact, I was a real pain in the ass. And I'm not sure why, excpet for that when I am in a bad mood, I tend to expect people to know it instinctively and leave me alone. Since people aren't mind readers, this usually goes awry, and the things that don't normally bother me much seem to be magnified 100 fold, and then I am forced to lose it.

I felt so guilty about my behavior that when I left work I called my husband and said "I was so bad today. I was in a bad mood so I took it out on everyone I work with". I was expecting him to say something comforting and supportive, something that would cheer me right up.

His response?

"Well, now they have a small idea of what it's like to be me".

Thanks, buddy. That sure did a lot to quell my rage.

A Hair Raising Problem

2006-11-20T13:34:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I may or may not have confessed to you before that I am not a "pet person". Before you email me or make disparaging remarks, please understand this: I do not, repeat, do not wish harm on the animal kingdom in any way. However, I believe I am within my rights to say that I don't want any in my home. I don't relate well with animals, I am not interested in them, I don't like anything besides humans in the bed with me, etc.

All these reasons are true and (I believe) valid, but the main thing I don't like about pets is this:

FUR.

I have a real aversion to animal hair. I'm not allergic, I just hate it. Nothing irritates me more than going to a friend's house and leaving covered in animal hair. I know it's not their fault, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Plus, I have my own furry mammal to deal with in the form of my husband.

He has beautiful thick, dark, hair. He repeatedly tells me that his hair is his best feature. He has a very full head of hair, which pleases him greatly. However, he sheds. He sheds SO MUCH. There is hair everywhere and I KNOW it isn't mine.

We have a bathtub in our master bath that I have used once and he has never used. However, there is always a fair amount of his hair in the tub and I can't figure out why.

So, I asked him if he was taking baths when I wasn't home. He said no. I said, "Have you ever even been in the bathtub? Like, have you had to stand in there to hang up your towel or something?" Again, he said no. Finally I said "Do you just stand in there and shake to piss me off?"

He says he doesn't, so either his shedding problem is just taking over the house one by one, or that ghost that messes with our fan is very hairy indeed.

A Guest Columnist?

2006-11-16T17:31:00.000-05:00

Last night I was trying to convince my husband that he should take a look at my blog. He doesn't really know what it is, or why it is interesting to anyone (as we've discussed), so this was a difficult argument for me to win.

He asks me, "Why should I read this blog when I LIVE it?" and I explained calmly that then he could see my take on the stories, and maybe find some humor in our everyday lives.

He is already bored with the conversation and is heading downstairs, rambling on about how all I do is make fun of him on the blog (false) and that he should sue me for defamation (good luck).

Finally, in desperation, I called out "Maybe you could be a guest columnist and stick up for yourself!"

Mid-way down the stairs, he stopped short, turned around, walked back up the stairs to where I was sitting, and said "Now that's interesting".

We'll see if I decide I am really willing to relinquish the keboard to the man who glued his hands together last month. I'll keep you posted.

(BTW-- thanks to those who've asked, the thumb is healing well, but it still hurts, which he reminds me with some frequency).

An Acrobatic Mishap

2006-11-15T16:41:00.000-05:00

I mentioned in my 100 Things about me that I am not too athletic. That's quite an understatement, actually. I consider it a victory when I can walk down the hall without spilling, tripping, or falling.

So, last night, I went into our room and my husband was propped up on his side of our bed watching tv. I was about to hop in the bed myself, but for some reason, as I was standing by the bed, I looked at it and thought to myself "This would be a good place to do a somersault".

Now, we do have a king-sized bed, but I am a king-sized person, so this was a bad idea from the start. I asked my husband if he thought I should do one, and he was like "I don't even understand you".

So, I decided to go for it. I tried to do a little jump and bring my knees up to the bed, but when I did that, I immediately tipped backward and landed on the ground.

Undaunted, I decided to try again. This time I got up on the bed and tucked my head, but at the last minute, the vision of me in a neckbrace for the rest of my life took hold, so I stopped and sort of rolled across the bed.

At this point, I was so overcome with laughter that I just had to lie down. My husband, however, was less than amused, and just rolled his eyes, asking, "What the hell are you doing?" and I said "Well, I don't want to break my neck. I haven't done a somersault in about 25 years, so I need to get this right".

I collected myself and stood up to try one more time. I tucked my head and rolled. I was sure that when I landed and opened my eyes I'd be in the perfect position. Alas, I managed to roll at a right angle, so instead of going across the width of the bed, I turned somehow and my feet ended up directly in my husband's face.

At this point, the acrobatics were over.

Fine. I Have Issues.

2006-11-14T22:28:00.000-05:00

I have always preferred to shop for clothes alone. I like to shop quickly and I am not comfortable with people telling me how things look on me, I just like to get what I like and move forward.

So, last week I mentioned to you that I have no appropriate clothes for this season, so it was high time I went shopping. Here are a few things that happened (AFTER the Starbucks incident described a few days ago).

1. The mall was excruciatingly hot. I was sweating like a pig from the moment I walked in, which is never a good sign.

2. I set off store sensors FIVE times. That's right. Three times it was my cellphone and one time it was my actual clothes. Figuring all this out involved me having to empty all my bags and have salesmen rummage through my new undies, etc.

3. I shop in the "women's section", and was slightly turned around in this one department store. A man passing out cologne samples handed me one and said "can I help you find something?" Normally I would say no, but I think the fumes (and the heat) got to me and I said "Women's Department". He said "You're going to have to be more specific", and I said "WOMEN'S. SHOP FOR WOMEN." (which is what they call it there). NOTHING from this guy, just a blank stare. So then, I made a general sweeping motion with my hand around my body and said "BIG SIZES!". He just sort of shook his head and pointed down the escalator.

I did manage to find a bunch of good stuff, although it was waaaay too hot to try it all on, so I just crossed my fingers and brought it home. Lucky for me, it worked out, because returning that crap would have killed me.

This is why God invented online shopping.

I've Seen a Ghost

2006-11-13T15:39:00.000-05:00

So today, I answered the phone at work and it was an older woman calling to let me know that another older woman we know (let's just call her Sophie Smith) had died, and wanting to see if I knew of the arrangements. I had no idea Sophie had died, or was even sick, so I was quite shocked and saddened at this news. I told the caller that I didn't know, but I'd call her back if I heard anything.

After I hung up, I told two of my co-workers about this death. One of them knew her, and one just knew the name but couldn't place her face. As we are standing in the hall talking about this, describing who Sophie Smith was and how sweet she was, how sad we were about her death, we hear the ding of the elevator.

Off the elevator walks Sophie Smith, alive and kicking. My colleague who knew her mutters "is it a ghost?" Sophie walked right up to our other co-worked and said "Hi, we haven't met. I'm Sophie Smith". His jaw dropped to the ground.

Never has anyone been greeted so warmly as she was today.

Eventually, the story came out and she said "Oh dear. I guess I better go home and spread the word that I'm not dead. I think I'm doing pretty good".

Nothing like someone coming back from the dead to spice up an otherwise dull Monday.

Off Center

2006-11-10T18:06:00.000-05:00

My husband and I moved into our house a little over a year ago. Before that, we lived in a teeny tiny house with one bathroom that was barely big enough for one. That's not the only thing that was wrong at the house, but that's a post for antoher day. (Think restraining order on the next door neighbor and you'll get the general idea).

One of the things that sold us on our current house was the fact that there were 2.5 baths, and the master bath has double sinks. Double sinks! This was the greatest thing!

This morning, as we were standing at the double sinks, I heard a very faint song coming from his side of the sinks. I looked over at him, and said "are you singing?" and was quite shocked when he said "yes, I always sing when I shave".

OK. Here are the things you should know about that:

1. We've been together for 5 years, married for 2, and this is the first I've heard of this.
2. I ALWAYS sing. I sing too much, in fact. I sing to him all the time, mainly just songs I make up. I very rarely hear him sing or hum or anything.
3. He complains regularly about my singing.
4. He rarely shaves.

So, I was like "You DO?", and he says "Yes. I have to. I have to be really careful when I shave because my ears are off center. Singing helps me concentrate."

The things you learn when you share a bathroom.

Drive Through Moron

2006-11-09T16:58:00.000-05:00

Today was my day off, and I have recently realized that I have no clothes for the wintry weather (even though it was 70 degrees today, it's been colder lately). So, I decided to do a little shopping this morning. On my way to the mall, I went through the Starbucks drive through.

Now, I must take a moment to say that I dearly love the Christmas season flavors starbucks provides. I tried the pumpkin spice latte over the weekend, and it was hideous, in my opinion. Check out Snake Nation's post on it-- I couldn't have said it better, so I won't try.

But! When I pulled up to the sign, they had pictures of the new flavors. I saw my favorite words "Peppermint Mocha" and I almost started crying right then and there. When the voice came over the loud speaker, I said "Do you have the peppermint mocha?" and they said "Yes, we do" and I am not kidding, I SANG in a high pitched voice "YAAAAAAAAAAAY!" like a whole little song. FINALLY, I realized how stupid that probably sounded, so I stopped and managed to place my order.

When I got to the window, they were like "you seem pretty excited" and I had to admit that I had potentially over-reacted to the news, but I just love the PM so much.

This got me to thinking that today was not the first time I acted like an idiot at a drive through window. Several years ago I was at the Taco Bell with my dear Mayor of Crazytown, and I was placing our order. We ordered some soft tacos, and the woman said "Chicken or Beef?" Now, I still don't know why I did this, but for some reason I said in a high pitched voice that sounded like something beeping:"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF".

Once again, it took me just a little too long to realize what was happening, and as soon as I stopped beeping (beefing?) I started laughing so hard I couldn't see. Mayor was of course cracking up, and we could barely pull up to the window. But I did, and I got those beef tacos.

These are probably not the only two times I acted like an idiot over a loudspeaker, but they are the first two that come to mind. You might think I'd learn from these encounters, but chances are... I haven't.

My Crafting Name is Dumbass

2006-11-08T15:18:00.000-05:00

Without any further ado:

I won't make you sit through the entire painful process I just went through to load this picture that isn't even very good, but suffice it to say that as usual, Monogram Momma came to my rescue and helped me get this picture up. THe quality isn't too good, as it was taken from my phone and emailed around the world and back, but here it is.

Monday night, my best friend and I got together to make her board. We knew that we would have an easier time with the second one, and we were right. It only took us about an hour! Granted, hers was smaller, but still... to go from 8 hours to one hour in only one board is a real accomplishment, don't you think?

Our second attempt was not without its own hijinks, and at one point she did give me the inspiration for the title of this post, when she said "Your crafting name is dumbass". I haven't come up with a crafting name for her just yet, but I'm sure it will be complimentary.

I think the crafting bug is really going around the Bossy house, because as we were on the floor making the board, my husband was spreading out a whole bunch of stuff on the dining room table. I asked him what he was doing, and he said "I'm working on my craft". I don't know exactly what this mystery craft is just yet, but it involves markers, a three ring binder, and a bunch of business cards. We'll see what he comes up with. His thumb is still in a bandage, so his crafting ability may be slightly impaired.

Thanks for sticking with me during the saga of the french bulletin board. I should have some better pictures taken with an ACTUAL CAMERA soon, so you may get to see it again. Until then, just think about what kind of board you want me to make for you and place your orders!

The Saga of the Board, Part II

2006-11-07T18:09:00.000-05:00

Well, I apologize for keeping you all in suspense for so long. Where was I? Oh yes, we had just arrived back at my place. At this point, as I mentioned, it is night time and we are famished. Fortunately, my husband had been to the local Farmer's Market and bought some good cheese for us to enjoy before we tackled this project.

So, after recharging our batteries with some good appetizers, we decided that we'd cut the boards first. We took them outside (so cold) and actually had a fairly easy time of cutting the boards. The asbestos was flying, but we managed to get that part done fairly quickly, what with the exacto knife and our "steady hands". Having accomplished this portion of the task, we decided to put the batting on mine, which was the larger of the two.

So, I break out the brand new staple gun and tell my husband (ol' thumbs) to load it. I noticed he was having some trouble, and he finally broke the news to us: we bought the wrong size staples. After arguing with him for awhile, we determined that he was right. In our defense, there was a couple in Home Depot who would NOT GET OUT OF THE WAY when we were looking at the staples, so our judgment could have been impaired by them.

Anyway, apparently I don't even OWN a regular stapler, (seriously?) so we had to run out to Walgreens and get the best stapler they had, which isn't saying much. We returned to my house ready to staple the batting on the board. As you can imagine, this is not as easy with a regular stapler as it would be with a staple gun, but we got it done.

We took a dinner break at some point, but basically worked on the board for most of the evening. Finally, at about 10:30, we had created a board to be proud of. Neither of us could actually believe it turned out as well as it did! I'd like to show you some pictures, but unfortunately my camera is broken, so I had to take photos with my phone and email them to myself, and they haven't come through yet, EVEN THOUGH I sent them over 36 hours ago. I will get them to you ASAP, as I know that you are all on the edge of your collective seats.

So, 8 hours, 3 lattes, 2 staplers, 1 asbestos board and much cursing later, I am the proud owner/c0-craftswoman of a french bulletin board. Is this the beginning of a new career?

The Saga of the Board, Part I

2006-11-06T11:50:00.000-05:00

You may remember that a couple of days ago, I sent out an urgent plea for help on the French bulletin board. Well, my best friend read my post and said "Oh, I can help you with that, no problem".

So, we decided to get together on Saturday. I did a little research, and we set off to the Home Depot, for some kind of board. Literally, that's all we knew. "It's some kind of board stuff". As we were leaving, I naively told my husband, "We'll be back in about an hour and a half". He briefly glanced up from the football game and dismissed us.

First, we headed to the local Home Depot, where we began to wander the aisles aimlessly, thinking that we'd see a big sign that said "BULLETIN BOARD SUPPLIES HERE". This did not happen. However, my friend DID drop the entire contents of her purse twice in about 2 minutes, which was awesome. Needless to say, we were cracking ourselves up the entire time. As usual, no one else was laughing with us.

Finally, we got the nerve to ask someone. We approached this young employee and said "do you have any cork?" He gave us that look-- the one you give complete morons, and just started walking. We followed behind, giggling, and he led us to another employee. This guy, with scorn in his voice, said "Are you making a bulletin board? With fabric?" while rolling his eyes at us, (and mentally cursing all these damn Martha wannabees). We just said that we were and followed him to a big stack of boards that were perfect for us.

The man showed us what we needed and how to cut the board. We insisted that we didn't need help cutting it and that it would DEFINITELY fit in our car. We carried this thing through the store and made a detour to purchase a staple gun and staples. We get out to the parking lot, and all the pushing and shoving in the world couldn't quite get this big ol' board into her car.

So we broke it. We just snapped it in half. Well, I don't know what kind of board this is, but there were little pieces of something flying around the car, all over our clothes, etc. My friend broke out in hives on her neck from it. We're calling it asbestos, but I'm pretty sure that's not what it was. At least I hope it wasn't.

Our next stop was the fabric store. We knew of one nearby, but we didn't think that one was good enough, so we thought we'd drive out a little ways to where we thought one was. Needless to say, there wasn't one out there, but there was a Starbucks, so the trip wasn't a total loss. We asked about nearby fabric stores at a local Michaels, and the very helpful lady there directed us RIGHT BACK WHERE WE CAME FROM.

So, we proceeded BACK to the original fabric store, where we spent about 45 minutes picking out the fabric, the batting, the ribbon, and the upholstery tacks. As I was waiting for the woman to cut my fabric, a very argumentative and rude customer looked at my fabric and said "What is THAT going to be?" Taken aback, I said "Hopefully a bulletin board". She said "Do you teach? Because that is going to be a VERY BIG bulletin board. I'm trying to imagine how that will look". (all this in a tone that indicated she didn't think this would look good AT ALL). I just told her that in my mind, it looked fabulous. Thanks for your opinion, lady, next time I need advice, I'll be sure to call you.

At this point, it is completely dark outside and we are heading back to my house to actually begin the project, totally exhausted. How did the project go, you ask? Well, tune in tomorrow and find out what happens in Part II of this fascinating tale of two wannabee crafters, a staple gun, and an asbestos board. You don't want to miss what happens next.

100 Things About Me

2006-11-03T16:14:00.000-05:00

So, I have noticed that a lot of blogs have "100 Things About Me", and I decided to give that a try, so here we go-- in no particular order:

1. I love spaghetti with meat sauce.
2. I have one brother and one sister, both are older.
3. Except during college, I have always lived in this area.
4. I took piano lessons for over 10 years, and can barely play anything with two hands.
5. I have had my gall bladder and my adenoids out.
6. Getting my gall bladder out turned out to be the best thing ever-- I used to be a Tums addict and haven't had one in over three years.
7. I have an undergraduate degree in education, but I'm not a teacher.
8. I also have a graduate degree.
9. I have never particularly enjoyed being in school.
10. I am extremely group-oriented.
11. I love purses, especially Coach ones.
12. I have been at my current job for over 7 years.
13. I do a lot of singing, but not professionally.
14. I am on a recording that won three Grammy awards.
15. I have been married for a little over two years, and I love it.
16. In college I drove a Honda, which I called "Brenda", after Brenda Walsh, my favorite person on 90210.
17. I love to wear blue jeans.
18. I love to decorate my mantles with the seasons.
19. I like for things to be monogrammed.
20. I get my eyebrows waxed regularly, which is very important to me.
21. I have always liked beer -- it was never an "acquired taste" for me.
22. I am the least athletic person on this planet.
23. I love to watch football, particularly SEC football.
24. I like for things to be neat and clean.
25. One of my favorite things is going to the beach in SC with my entire family.
26. I really hate it when people misuse apostrophes.
27. I have two best friends that I have known my entire life.
28. My husband and I met in a bar.
29. I have a deep love for karaoke.
30. I think Vegas is the most fun place I have ever been.
31. I got so sunburned on my honeymoon that I couldn't move for two days.
32. I never go on a trip without a legal pad.
33. I really love fat free coffeemate, especially the seasonal flavors.
34. I really, really hate to exercise.
35. I love planning and calendars.
36. I sing in an all female a cappella group.
37. I am an aunt to three and one on the way, and I love it.
38. I have never colored my hair at all.
39. I love to read books that are considered "chick lit".
40. I have no children, but I have always looked forward to pregnancy.
41. I cry a lot, and not because I'm sad, just because I can't help it.
42. I have a tattoo, which I wouldn't do again. It is tiny, but it hurt like hell.
43. I love stationery. I have more than I know what to do with, but I keep buying it.
44. I am the world's worst Mary Kay saleswoman.
45. I always have at least one song in my head.
46. I write thank you notes and am fairly judgmental when people don't.
47. I am a staunch United Methodist.
48. I have never been a good student of history.
49. I loved studying other languages.
50. I seem to go to a lot of weddings and baby showers.
51. I HATE to cut the grass.
52. I am not very good at car maintenance.
53. I was a candy-striper in middle school for about 6 months.
54. I loved planning my wedding, because I had been planning it for most of my life.
55. I have very long fingers.
56. I am named after my great-grandmother, whom I never met.
57. I love Mexican food.
58. I hate mariachi bands.
59. I like to entertain.
60. I very rarely go to the movies.
61. I don't have any pets and am uncomfortable around most animals.
62. I do not like melons of any kind.
63. I am a big fan of hugging.
64. I have a very loud laugh.
65. I have a subscription to Us Weekly and I love seeing it in my mailbox.
66. I make a lot of lists.
67. I knit. Sort of. I try.
68. Even though I have 20/20 vision, I can't read any signs when I drive at night. It's a real mystery.
69. I don't like flying, but I'm not scared of it. I'm just so uncomfortable.
70. I almost never lose things, but I lost the camera on our honeymoon.
71. I try to please people.
72. The first man I ever really loved was Michael J. Fox.
73. I almost never wear shorts.
74. I like the people I work with.
75. I won a spelling bee in 5th grade.
76. I love to do crossword puzzles.
77. I always vote.
78. I am a Notary Public.
79. I worked in a law firm for several summers and I got a raise when they found out they weren't even paying me minimum wage.
80.When I was in 6th grade I went to a party and saw a boy wearing a pink shirt and pink socks. I fell in love with him instantly. We are still friends. although I am no longer in love with him. Well, maybe a little :)
81. I wear "Lovely" perfume by Sarah Jessica Parker.
82. I have seen every episode of Friends more than once.
83.I like for my bedroom to be blue and white.
84. Caller ID is my favorite invention.
85. I LOVE cheese.
86. Judging from my Ipod, I like 90s music the best.
87. I subscribe to a LOT of magazines.
88. I hate it when people are habitually late.
89. In 11th grade I closed my finger in my locker door right before the "class ring ceremony". I went to the ceremony crying, and the principal told me to calm down because it was just the ring ceremony, not graduation. Turns out my finger was broken.
90. My dad and his company installed the lockers in my school, the same lockers which broke my finger.
91. I really hate to be wrong.
92. I am the worst dancer ever.
93.I wish I had known in high school that I wasn't fat.
94. I seem to wear a lot of black shirts.
95. I look a lot like my dad.
96. I think chocolate and peanut butter is the world's greatest combination.
97. I get caffeine headaches. I suspect this is a sign of something.
98. Red roses are my favorite flower and I REALLY love receiving them.
99. I used to drive a pick up truck.
100. I really hate the way I look in profile, and will turn my head if I think you are looking at me from the side.

Well, that was fun. It's interesting what random and bizarre things you think of when making a list like that. I hope you enjoyed yourself!

Wanted

2006-11-02T16:20:00.000-05:00

I need your help. I really want one of those French bulletin boards, the kind with the criss cross ribbons. Actually, I have several in my office, but what I really want is a larger one in my house. The ones I have are smallish, and I don't like those as much.

Unfortunately, I can only find instructions on how to make them, and I can't seem to figure out where to buy them. Does anyone know? Am I going to be forced to make one, and risk my own frustration at attempting such a high-level craft? Am I going to have to hire someone to make me one?

Can this problem be solved?

Any advice would be appreciated.

Public Service Announcement

2006-11-01T16:30:00.000-05:00

Attention Teens:

Putting on your letter jacket and carrying a plastic Kroger shopping bag is not "dressing up for Halloween". Just because it's October 31, you are not automatically entitled to food from my house. I'd appreciate the slightest bit of effort on your part if I am going to willingly GIVE AWAY chocolate.

Consider this your final warning.
Love,
Bossy