Eeek!

I have a confession to make. I don't really like Halloween.

Now, let me explain. I really like kids in costume coming to my door. The kids from the preschool across the street from my office just came over and sang Halloween songs in their costumes, and it was adorable. I've got no problem with this sort of thing.

However.

The truth is, I'm scared of Halloween. Not witches, goblins, ghosts, etc.... but adults in costume. It totally freaks me out. I think I can pinpoint when this phobia actually began:

I was in college, and I went to a costume party one year. It was a small and creepy party, and I can't remember exactly whose apartment it was at or why I even went in the first place. What I do remember is that almost every guy there was dressed in full on drag. So much so that I couldn't recognize them. And I got scared. Like really nervous and freaked out scared, because I was at a party with a bunch of people I didn't recognize, and it was dark, and I was sitting on the couch, probably hugging myself and rocking back and forth, like I was Rain Man or something.

Ever since then, adults in costume-- particularly in masks-- have made me really nervous. If I can't see your face, but you can see me, then you could possibly attack me or eat me and I would never know who it was. I won't go to bars on Halloween, it's way too risky. Too many unknowns. In case you haven't noticed, I like to be in control and in charge, and I feel very vulnerable in a room full of people I can't recognize because they are wearing Bill Clinton masks or that awful thing from the Scream movies. (as you can see, my references are a little dated because I've been avoiding Halloween for so long).

I fear that I have shared a little too much with you and that now you know for sure that I have some major weirdness issues. But, that's who I am and it feels good to admit it.

For now, I'll just be hiding in my office until this day is done.