Outside the Circle of Love
OK, now, I need to preface this by saying I do have friends. I have lived basically in the same place for most of my life, and in that time have made some wonderful friends that I love very much.
HOWEVER.
There is a certain organization in my city that I have been a part of since 1998. There are a lot of people in this group, but whenever it meets, I am generally around the same people. I have traveled several times with this group, to places around the country. There are some weeks that we are together EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.
For some reason, I cannot seem to make friends in this group. I have a few friends (like 3), but I also know them from somewhere else. They are not always required to be there when I am , and when they aren't there, I am always alone.
Sometimes I will just sort of walk down the hall behind someone that I sort of know, on the off chance that she might turn around and say hi to me or something. Never happens.
So, Monday night, I am at this thing, and a small group of us are waiting outside the big room for our turn to be called in. I don't know these people well, but we are all part of the same organization, we're all waiting for the same thing, etc.
I am not lying when I tell you that these people FORMED A CIRCLE and left me standing just outside it. Not like I was across the room and they were talking. I was about 6 inches outside the circle. They talked and laughed. I stood there.
What's weird is that I am not shy or quiet at all. I am not scared of people and can hold a conversation. However, if you asked any of these people about me, if they even knew who I was, they'd be like "Oh, Bossy? She's REALLY shy. She never says a word".
Which is, of course, the opposite of true. Oh well, I showed them. They are now immortalized in a blog. So ha.
HOWEVER.
There is a certain organization in my city that I have been a part of since 1998. There are a lot of people in this group, but whenever it meets, I am generally around the same people. I have traveled several times with this group, to places around the country. There are some weeks that we are together EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.
For some reason, I cannot seem to make friends in this group. I have a few friends (like 3), but I also know them from somewhere else. They are not always required to be there when I am , and when they aren't there, I am always alone.
Sometimes I will just sort of walk down the hall behind someone that I sort of know, on the off chance that she might turn around and say hi to me or something. Never happens.
So, Monday night, I am at this thing, and a small group of us are waiting outside the big room for our turn to be called in. I don't know these people well, but we are all part of the same organization, we're all waiting for the same thing, etc.
I am not lying when I tell you that these people FORMED A CIRCLE and left me standing just outside it. Not like I was across the room and they were talking. I was about 6 inches outside the circle. They talked and laughed. I stood there.
What's weird is that I am not shy or quiet at all. I am not scared of people and can hold a conversation. However, if you asked any of these people about me, if they even knew who I was, they'd be like "Oh, Bossy? She's REALLY shy. She never says a word".
Which is, of course, the opposite of true. Oh well, I showed them. They are now immortalized in a blog. So ha.
posted by Bossy Bar-Wife | 9:42 AM
7 Comments:
weird....this pretty much describes my exact experience with a certain chorus...
those people are so mean.
mean music dorks
I know what you mean. I had a really hard time moving back here to MN. A lot of people have no idea how the smallest gesture can mean so much to someone when they feel left out or lonely. You know what I have learned from this experience though, is never ever to let anyone else feel like that and whenever I notice someone sort of hanging back or standing outside the circle, I ALWAYS will pull them in. Or sometimes, I will just give someone walking by me in the hallway a compliment they deserve, even if I don't know them. It is the little things in life you know :)
I have felt the same way in that same group, and I've been in it since 1993. Odd how folks make up in their head what we are (or what we aren't, like cool or worth speaking to). Boo!
What is this, Junior high?! ANd I'm not just talking about your group, but groups of women in general. Why can't they just be friends nice and include other ladies who look like they're struggling and could use a hand?!
Pay it forward, people! Pay it forward!
Those JL bitches... I'm assuming that's the group you are talking about? They're pretty cold here, too.
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