The Bossy Bar-Wife


Location: United States

Friday, August 31, 2007


Wednesday night I had the unfortunate experience of being alone in an elevator with this woman who sort of drives me nuts. I think you all know the type-- the kind who you want to like, because you know she doesn't have a lot of friends and you want to be kind to her, but she says and does the most irritating things that make you understand why she doesn't have that many friends. Make sense?

OK, so I really do try to be nice to this woman, and I'm certainly never mean to her or anything like that, but I try to avoid prolonged conversations. However, there we were, riding the elevator together.

Here's how our conversation went:

Her: How's everything with you?

Me: Fine, can't complain. You?

Her: Fine. So... when you gonna make a baby?

Me: "..."

Her: I'm just going to go ahead and get personal.

Me: (pulling out my standard answer when people ask this question) "Well, not today!"

Her: Well, I think the teens you work with would really have fun with that. Plus, it would be a great lesson for them about the consequences of your actions.

OK--- as a young woman who is married and has been for a few years, I am used to people asking me about my child-bearing plans, although normally they are people I am a little closer to. What really irritated me about this was the idea that I would use my as of yet un-conceived child as a lesson about the consequences of sex! Does that strike anyone else as strange?

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Television and miscellaneous thoughts

Here's what I'm watching this summer:

1. The Hills-- I almost wish I weren't part of perpetuating this cycle, but I do love LC and have to watch this show. I have managed to resist "Newport Harbor: the real OC" for the time being, but I suspect that a weekend marathon on MTV might cure me of that.

2. Fashionista Diaries: I am totally loving this show. It comes on Soapnet and I am completely fascinated by it. If any of you are watching it, tell me, because I need to discuss it with someone. Did you like Nicole? I felt sorry for her, but I think she made the right decision. Also-- that Mandie lady from 7th house? Eeek.

3. Big Brother 8-- LOVE. IT. I've even gotten Mr. Bossy into it and now he's saying things like "I can't believe I never watched this show before this year". My work here is done... BB is one of those shows where I basically hate all the contestants (except Jessica) but I still can't get enough.

Anyone have anything else to recommend? This is about the time of year when I start getting really ready for my regular favorites to come back on. My heart still feels heavy since the OC won't be back on, but at least I have a few other things I like to watch.

Let me know if you'd like to discuss any of these shows. I'm all ears.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

I'm Still Alive

Hello all! (If there are any of you still out there, which I hope there are!)

So, apparently, I've been on a bit of a blog-cation. I didn't really plan it this way, it just happened. I hope we can still be friends.

Here's what's been going on with me lately:

1. I have been sweating. A lot. It's hot as hades here and it's miserable.

2. The other night I was speaking to a group of teenagers, and said "Now, you have to be really smart to do this..." , while pointing to my own brain (the universal gesture for "smart"). Unfortunately, I missed my brain and poked myself right in the eye. Needless to say, that ended any semblance of order in the room.

3. I went with Mayor and a Real Mother to the Justin Timberlake concert. Mayor did a good job describing the experience on her blog, and let me say this: he is SO. HOT. I don't often describe people as "sexy", but that's what he was. It was .... wow. Of course, we also realized we aren't as young as we used to be and that young ladies today do not always dress appropriately. Maybe they thought they were going to meet Justin? I don't know. The worst was the mom on the row with us who WOKE UP HER FIVE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER to dance when he sang "What goes around". Unfortunately, this small child was dancing in the same manner as JT's dancers. Which is to say, like strippers. OK, I'm old. Sorry.

4. Last but not least, Luke Perry was spotted in my town. Now, this is a bit of a sensitive subject for me. I LOVE LP. I love him so much. Dylan McKay has been the love of my life since I was in high school, and I believe that I will always carry a torch for him.

One morning I get to work and have an email from a friend saying that he saw Luke Perry at a local bar the night before. Just sends me this email, all non-chalant, instead of doing what a real friend would do and CALL ME AT THE TIME so I could throw on my "Donna Martin graduates" T-shirt and haul ass up there.

As the week goes on, I hear story after story of him being spotted around town, doing this and that. It seemed like everywhere I turned, people were saying "oh yeah, I saw him here" or whatever.

I never saw him. But I think it might be for the best, because I am afraid one of two things would have happened. One, I would have been so star-struck and in awe of him I would have just sat and stared and cursed myself for not approaching him.

Or, two, I would have had a couple of drinks, and marched over to him and said, "OK. Once and for all. Brenda or Kelly?"