The Bossy Bar-Wife


Location: United States

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

It's all Greek to Me

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! The Bossys had a lovely time with our families, and there were even a few surprises under the tree!

One of the best things was that his parents gave us a new digital camera, since ours has gone to camera heaven. This is very good timing, because
Mr. Bossy and I and a few other friends are taking off tomorrow for a trip to Greece. I haven't mentioned this yet, as I am quite apprehensive about the flight and haven't discussed it too much with anyone.

Anyway, I am quite relieved about the digital camera, since I had visions of myself being like "Hey look, guys! The parthenon! Let me get out my cell phone and take a picture!"

Thankfully, I won't have to embarrass myself in that way. I am sure I'll manage to freak out somehow though, most likely on the plane when my ipod runs out of power and I start climbing the walls.

Happy new year to all and I'll look forward to catching up with you all next week!

Friday, December 22, 2006

An Actual Christmas Miracle

I have lost my wallet a couple of times in my life. My wallet has also been stolen before. As you probably know, dealing with cancelling cards, replacing your driver's license, refuting charges that you didn't make, etc. etc. all add up to one giant pain in the rear. Not to mention, I generally LOVE my wallets, so I hate when I don't have them anymore.

This afternoon, I left work early and ran over to the local mall, where I just went in to see if I could find a pair of black pants and maybe a festive shirt for a couple of parties I have coming up. I had pretty good luck shopping, and was leaving just in time to run by one more store and pick up a couple of last minute gifts, and make it to my eyebrow appointment.

Well, when I got to the second store, I looked in my purse and my wallet was gone. I searched through my car and my bags, and it was nowhere to be seen. I wasn't in full panic mode just yet, because I knew I had JUST used it at Macy's, so I drove back to the mall. I looked in the parking lot, retracing my steps from the store to my car, and couldn't find it.

Still not panicking, I went inside and asked the women at customer service. They hadn't seen it, but suggested I go up to gift wrap. At this point, I am getting pretty worried, and my mind is racing with all that I would have to do to cancel my cards, etc. etc.

Gift wrap did not have my wallet, so I came back downstairs and asked a few more people. Nothing. At this point I am completely miserable, and tears are starting to fall out of my eyes. (You should know that I cry easily, but that I was also freaking out about the fact that my husband and I are leaving the country on Wednesday and traveling without my cards and my license was going to be difficult, to say the least). I leave my name and numbers with the cashiers, and walk out to my car. As I am walking through the parking lot, this woman rolls down her car window and says, "Ma'am! Ma'am! What is your name?"

I look at her and loudly state my full name.

She says, "I have your wallet. I knew it was you, the way you looked so forlorn walking in the lot. Everything is here, Merry Christmas!"

I was so stunned, and so overcome that I completely started bawling. Just sobbing, right there in front of her, out of relief and total gratitude. I couldn't thank her enough, and got back in my car.

I am firmly convinced that was my own little Christmas miracle. All the way back home, cars were honking at each other and everyone was mad, but I just cranked up the Christmas carols and sang along.

Merry Christmas to all!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Full Report

So, yesterday I called my husband to break the chalkboard news to him. I started by saying, "I have something to tell you."

Dead silence.

I assured him it was nothing bad, and he said "OK, what?". Finally I said "J bought me a chalkboard".


I hurried forward with: " I promise I won't use it to nag you. If I do, you can take it down. I'll just put things on it like 'Mr. Bossy is the greatest' on there".

He said "Well, if you do use it to nag me you'll find it in two pieces".

[This is not something I am actually worried about.]

Anywaaaaay, we decided that we'd look for a place together for it. He worked late last night, so when he got home, I was already asleep. He knew I was kind of sick, so I think he was feeling sorry for me, and when I opened my eyes to greet him, I said "How did you like the chalkboard?"

He said "It looks nice".

So, all's well that ends well. As soon as I get my camera fixed I'll post a picture of it, wherever we decide to hang it.

In other news, you might like to know that a woman just arrived here at my place of work pushing a cart that she took from Kroger filled with bottles of sparkling cider for our staff. Never a dull moment.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Uh -Oh

I think the second post I ever wrote on this blog told a little story about how much I wanted a chalkboard in the kitchen. My husband, as I said, was NOT AT ALL interested in this idea, and seemed to think that having a chalkboard would empower me to leave him bossy little notes.

Well, this morning, I met two of my co-workers for our annual breakfast and holiday gift exchange. We had a great time, and I got some fantastic presents! When I got to the last present, I lifted the lid of the box and found a box of chalk. Underneath the chalk was a little note that said "There is a chalkboard waiting for you in my office".

Eeee! I was so excited! And yet, so apprehensive about my husband's reaction. I can tell you, he's not going to like it. Maybe if I give him a sworn affadavit that if I ever leave bossy little notes ("Dirty dishes don't belong on the coffee table!") he can take it down. Or maybe I should just get him drunk and tell him then. Or, I could just hang it up and act like it's always been there.

I'll be sure to let you know what happens... it could very well end up in my office. Or in the guest bedroom, where I might be invited to start sleeping if I play my cards wrong!

Viva la Chalkboard!

Monday, December 18, 2006


I go to church every Sunday, but my husband works every Sunday. Often I will go out to lunch afterwards with a friend, which is what I did yesterday. I drove, and we ended up spending the day together going shopping and doing some other stuff.

Our church has a parking problem on Sunday morning, so there is a bank parking deck right across the street that allows us to park for free. I never park there, but she does, so that's where I dropped her off yesterday evening. Not two minutes later, I get a call on my cell.

Her: Bossy! I'm trapped in the parking lot!
Her: I can't get out.
Me: OK, I'll be right there.

So, I parked and walked across the street to the parking lot where she was just sitting in her car at the exit, waiting for the electronic arm to go up. Apparently it is usually up on Sunday afternoons so the church folk can get out, but I guess they put it back down after a certain time.

Well, I tried to open it for her manually, and I am sure you can guess that was a failed mission. So I hopped in the car with her and we rode around the parking lot. We saw a man walking through and he said we'd have to pay $3 to an automated thing to get out. Instead of seeing that as the opportunity it was to actually LEAVE the parking deck, she told him, and I quote, that he was "out of his damn mind".

All of a sudden, the humor of this situation struck us, so we are cackling loudly and driving through the parking deck, looking for any possible exit. Every exit we came upon had an electronic arm that was firmly shut against us.

Finally we saw a car about to leave the parking lot. We were pretty sure we could follow them out under the arm, just like you do if you've ever lived in a gated community and forget your card. So, as the car pulls out, the driver taking his own sweet time, we try to get through the exit.

WHAM. Down came the arm on the car. We are laughing so hard at this point it didn't even matter. Oh! Here comes another car, so we try it again, to no avail.

We finally decide we're just going to have to pay the three dollars, and see an exit. We pull up to the automated attendant, who demands TEN dollars to let us out. Tires squeal as my friend yells, "oh hell no" and tries to find another exit.

We find one that looks broken, so I hop out and try to lift the arm. Nothing. We finally decide there is nothing else to do but pay the money, or else we were going to have to spend the night driving through the parking lot waiting for someone to help us get out.

We ride back up to the top, where we pay the three dollars and finally make it out of the lot. In the grand scheme of things, I guess three dollars was a small price to pay our freedom. Plus, we sure did laugh a lot.

Friday, December 15, 2006

One of the Best

You know how there are some things that make you feel good no matter what else is going on?

Well, the other day I was exhausted and heading off to a four hour rehearsal. We had no food in the house so I was forced to eat Bran Flakes for two meals that day. (which they say on the box is a good way to lose weight. I'm not sure if it works if your other meal involves cheese and chips, but whatever). Anyway, the house is a mess, the laundry is up to the ceiling, some of the presents still haven't arrived, etc. etc. etc.

So, in my frustration, I did what anyone would do. I turned to my best friend/love of my life, tivo, and ran through the "now playing" list... and there it was. One of the best episodes ever of the best show EVER.

Now, I realize that you are not all avid 90210 watchers like I am, but I hope that you can think back to your younger days when it was the best thing going, and remember this, one of the great lines of the entire series:

Scene: Casa Walsh, the night of the spring dance (the one where Brenda gives it up to Dylan...)
Brenda and Kelly are wearing the same dress-- the black one with the white bow thing across the top.

Kelly: Brenda! I am a spring princess!

Brenda: Kelly... I don't give a damn!

I swear, everytime I see that, my mood just changes. I love it so much. After watching that, I skipped off to finish my chores, humming that beautiful theme song. (You know the one... when Dylan does the two punches to Brandon's face-- du na na na, du na na na. ch ch... )

Many thanks to you, Aaron Spelling.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Hockey Love

So last night, Mr. Bossy was given a whole bunch of tickets to the hockey game. I didn't have to be anywhere, so I went with him and several of his friends.
I like going to hockey games, but I don't understand them at all. I understand most other sports, but I don't ever know what's going on with hockey, except that scoring a goal is good.

However, it's a fun atmosphere, despite being kind of cold, and I was excited to be going. I was comfortably settled into my seat, munching on my dinner, when I felt a little spray from above.

All of a sudden I realized that someone in a group of people coming down the stairs had spilled his coke. No big deal, accidents happen.

Unfortunately, I soon realized that not only was the Coke in my hair, it was all over my jacket and my chair.

I was pretty irritated by this entire turn of events, but I didn't do anything, because, well... I'm a wimp and it was an accident.

A little while later though, things started looking up when I put my hand to my chest (as if I were saying the pledge) and felt something weird.

I surreptitiously reached into my shirt and pulled out one of my socks.


Tuesday, December 12, 2006

A Helping Hand

I need to buy gifts for two people graduating from college. As it is Christmas time, I don't have tons of extra cash to spend, but want to get them a little something to celebrate their accomplishments.

One is male, one is female. As far as I know, they are both moving home with their parents until they figure out what to do next, so I don't think they need stuff for a new apartment or anything like that.

Anyone have any ideas? Something you got when you graduated that you particularly liked?

And while we are on the subject of help, I would be remiss if I didn't tell you that I ordered some very cute gifts from Lauren Goessling recently, and needed to speak to her about my order. When I called her, she couldn't have been nicer or more helpful, and I found the same to be true with our follow-up emails. I love her stuff, and she is so nice to work with, so I highly recommend her to you!

Hope you are all having a lovely Tuesday, and I look forward to any gift ideas you'd like to share with me.

Monday, December 11, 2006

The Perfect Gift

I don't have much time, but I had to jump on and share with you this important piece of news.

Last night, I went to the Bar's Christmas party. One of my dear friends was there, and she handed me my Christmas present. Now, I love to get presents from her and I love to buy for her because we like a lot of the same things, and it's always so fun to see what cute thing she has come up with.

So, I opened a box, and in it was something I've always wanted:
(well, at least in the past 10-12 years or so... I didn't want one as a child):

A flask.

Now, you might be thinking, "yeah? I've seen flasks...". Well, let me tell you something else.

It's pink. It is covered in this soft and beautiful pale pink leather and it is gorgeous. Now, I MAY have convinced you already, but here's the best part:


It's like the trifecta: Liquor, Pink, and Monogrammed. What more could a Bossy Barwife want?

Friday, December 08, 2006

Oh, Snap!

I know that I have been lax about my blogging responsibilities. Like all of you, I have too much going on and sometimes blogging has to take a backseat. I'm not proud of it, and I will try to do better.

This week in the Bossy house, we have been dealing with a particular issue. Monday afternoon, I get a call from Mr. Bossy. Without saying hello, he says "You're not going to like this at all". ( This is not the best way to start a conversation with me.)

I say, "WHAT? What is it?WHAT!?" and he says, "OK, I didn't do anything, I just sat down on the bed to put on my socks" (At this point I'm thinking that freaking Spencer the ferret has found me after all these years) So, I calmly say, "OK... then what?" and he's like "The bed broke."


"The bed broke. It just snapped, it's shattered"

Now, I know by now that Mr. Bossy is prone to exaggeration, and I'm used to it, so I try to get him to describe to me what happened. He's not explaining it too well, and I am getting more and more stressed listening to him, expecially considering we got this bed almost exactly one year ago. He was feeling pretty bad about himself, as you tend to do when things break after you sit on them, but I assured him that heavier people than he also sit on beds, and that it was really ok.

So, I came home, and inspected the damage. As I hoped, it wasn't that bad. It was really just the top left corner that had collapsed. So, we took everything off, and Mrs. Handywoman got to work. We put it all back together after I worked on it, he sat down, and ... snap. Right back where we started.

So, we took everything off again, I sat down on the floor in the middle of the frame, and did what I should have done the first time: called my dad.
If you've been reading for awhile, you know my dad is the one who installed the ceiling fan, so I knew he could handle this.

As luck would have it, he was in full handyman mode when I called him, and was willing to come right over. He brought his tools and had the bed fixed within about 10 minutes. We put it all back together again, and I sat on it. Nothing happened. I rolled over. Still good.

So, I had to go off to a rehearsal, and when I got back that night, the bed was still intact. I got in, and everything was fine. When my husband decided to get in bed, he was really nervous. He stood beside the bed and stared at it with trepidation for a few moments, and I said "It's fine. Just get in", so he eased himself in the bed the way you'd ease yourself into a freezing cold swimming pool.

He managed to get completely in the bed and was lying there stock still. I was like "See? It's fine."

His response? He decided to sing a little song... "No sudden movements". He sang that a few times, while I just listened, fully expecting the bed to crash and the fan light to come on at the same time. Neither happened, and so far (knock wood) we've survived. Every night though, he uses a little extra caution when climbing into bed, and reminds me not too move too much.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Another Tail

I fee like yesterday's story isn't really complete until you know the following:

Due to the set up of the house, my bedroom was a room that used to be the garage. One wall, the wall at the top of the driveway, was sliding glass doors. The opposite wall had a closet which housed our washer and dryer.

(There were steps down to my room, which some boys once referred to as the "stairway to heaven"... but I digress).

Anyway, one morning I was awakened, not to my alarm clock, but to the sound of scratching, or sort of scrambling.

By this time, we'd had a few instances of mice, so I wasn't too freaked out, but I should have been.

Spencer the ferret had found his way into my dryer and was scrambling around, trying to get out.

We had to go across the street and ask the neighbors ONCE AGAIN to remove their ferret from my personal space.

It was then I knew that I was not meant to live there much longer.

Monday, December 04, 2006

A "Tail" from the Past

I know that I have been gone for a while, and I apologize. Unfortunately I have been very busy and have had to let blogging take a backseat. I don't feel good about myself.

While I may have had some blog-worthy experiences in the past few days, I have chosen today to share with you a blast from my past.

When I graduated from college, I moved into a house with my two best friends. Mayor's dad was our landlord, and we were renting this house from him for practically nothing, which was good, because we only had money for alcohol.

I shared a small bathroom with our other roommate, while Mayor had her own bathroom. One morning, I got out of the shower and started drying off. All of a sudden, I saw on the floor, about 3 feet away from me, some sort of a creature.

This was not a mouse-sized creature, or a squirrel, or anything like that. It was more the size of a large cat, and it wasn't something I'd ever seen before. I've told you all how I feel about pets, and how uncomfortable and anxious I feel around things with fur.

You can imagine my great fear at this point. Naturally, I leapt (with total grace, let me assure you) onto the toilet so this thing couldn't get me. With my towel wrapped around me, I jumped over it and ran out the door, slamming it shut behind me. I burst into Mayor's room, practically knocking down her door, and screaming:


She ran out of her room and right up to my bathroom door, where she stopped short and screamed, "IT'S SCRATCHING AT THE DOOR LIKE A GERMAN SHEPHERD!"

At this point we were both completely freaking out. I mean, we were screaming, laughing, and crying all at once.

So, she called her dad, the landlord, and he came over. We were standing up on the couch at this point, so we could see this creature from any angle. We could hear him from the bathroom, saying "Oh! This is someone's pet!"

WHAT? Someone's pet?

Turns out, this vile creature was a ferret. That's right, a friendly neighborhood ferret found its way into our house and INTO MY BATHROOM while I showered.

Turns out, it belonged to some teen boys who lived across the street. When our landlord returned the ferret, their only comment was, "Spencer! You bad boy".

I don't think I've ever fully recovered.